Synapses on Shuffle

Day 15,754: 2011 Year in Review

2011-12-23T18:35:00.009-05:00

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?

Enrolled in graduate program while working a full time job.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Did I make one? Hmm. I think I felt I was being a bit judgmental at times and wanted to work on that. Perhaps it was a success, because I definitely don’t feel that way anymore. If I had to make one this year it would probably have to do with staying sane while I’m in school. My friend P was right, grad school makes you feel crazy at times with both the volume of work and the expectations of the professors.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No, no babies this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My Uncle, the guy who encouraged me to go to grad school, passed away this year. I’m going to miss him at Xmas this year. No need to bring latkes and sour cream and say Happy Hanukkah anymore…

**12/31/11 update: My Aunt, spouse of the Uncle that died a few months ago, passed away this morning. So two. Two people passed away this year that were very close to me.**

5. What countries did you visit?

None.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

I would really like it if my employer would loosen the purse strings and give us cost of living raises. It’s been five years.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

June – opening night for my second gallery show. A group exhibition I was invited to participate in.

July – taking an Intro to Woodcuts class and finding something I really loved doing.

December – Hatch Show Print workshop with one of my bffs. More printmaking goodness. I’m sensing a trend.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Six classes under my belt, 4.0 GPA.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not getting a life-changing job I interviewed for. Life-changing in that I would have had a really interesting, project-based workload, and gone up a few tax brackets.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No, I’ve been really lucky this year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A long sheer black scarf with white birds all over it. (similar to this one) I feel very European when I wear it. It makes me happy.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Occupy Wall Street Protesters. No it’s not perfect, but I had seriously lost hope and thought that Americans were mostly a vast vapid organism feeding on pop culture and consumerism. Thank you for proving me wrong.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

These are mostly politicians and bigots. Pick a news day, any news day.

14. Where did most of your money go?

School.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The spread of OWS around the country.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

I was a pop music junkie this year. Born This Way. Someone Like You. Sexy and I Know It (funniest music video ever). Good Feeling. Cheers. We Found Love. S&M. Sure Thing. Motivation. Gimmie Dat. On the Floor. Till the World Ends. And the entire Sigh No More CD.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? The same

b) thinner or fatter? Fatter

c) richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Hanging out with my friends, but I really don’t have any time when I’m in school.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Worrying about finances.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

With my family.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?

I fell in love with Castelventrano olives. Seriously. I have never tasted a yummier olive. I will drive a few miles out of my way in order to hit up the olive bar where I found them. I am truly dealing with an addiction here, people.

Another new love this year is for Frog Ranch Bread & Butter Pickles. I know I have personally gone through six jars of these pickles this year. The absolute best commercially produced jarred pickle out there. Hands down.

In a less healthy love, I also fell for Honey BBQ Cheetos. Unfortunately (and fortunately), they seem to only exist in the snack machine at work.

23. How many one-night stands?

None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

I love New Girl. Her goofy, nerdy, yet charming antics remind me of so many of my friends. And myself.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

I never hate anyone, it's too time consuming.

26. What was the best book you read?

Just Kids by Patti Smith. She really captured a bygone era of the NY punk and art scene.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Mumford & Sons. I’m typically not into twangy music, but Sigh No More really captivated me.

28. What did you want and get?

Acceptance into grad school.

29. What did you want and not get?

Cost of living raise from the day job.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

I will have to say it was a tie between the clever Limitless (starring my pretend boyfriend, Bradley Cooper), the hilarious Bridesmaids, and the nostalgia-inducing The Muppets. Are you a man, or a muppet of a man?

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

On my 43th birthday, I had a bunch of little birthday celebrations with a bunch of friends. I am a very lucky broad.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Travel. Specifically this trip to Antarctica, or this trip to New Zealand.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Classic for work with lots of greys and blacks. Tres casual any other time. I’m still stuck in the 90s and I’m ok with that.

34. What kept you sane?

Breaks in between quarters where I would have a frenzy of social activity before the next one began.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Thanks to the numerous witty Hey Girl sites paired with sharp dressing and washboard abs in Stupid Crazy Love, I’ll say Ryan Gosling.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

So much stuff has happened politically this year, I just don’t know where to begin on this question. There was lots of political stirring going on.

37. Who did you miss?

Everyone when I’m in the throes of school.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I met some really great artists while working on a 365 art project this year. I feel more in my element with them than any other place I’ve been.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:

I am very capable of doing stuff. I had no idea that I could be so disciplined when I needed to be. This will come in handy when I take over the world a la Pinky and the Brain.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

“I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive.

I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise, to fly.”

~from Fly – Nicki Minaj

Day 15,733: My Dearest Sweater...

2011-11-29T23:35:00.004-05:00

My Dearest Perfect Grey Sweater,

It seems we have known each other forever. I daresay we met more than fifteen years ago. I was a thrifty shopper and you were a men's 100% thin wool v-neck sweater on sale at Old Navy. My, how time has flown. Every year I could depend on you to keep me warm, hot even, without adding unnecessary bulk. I loved you so much, that even when you started to fall apart, I patiently mended your burgeoning holes.

But now, threadbare and worn, there isn't anything left to sew together.

Thus, I think our time together is drawing to a close. Every time I wear you, I know it should be the last. It's just so hard to quit you, Perfect Grey Sweater. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. I must come clean and say that I've been looking here and there for another Perfect Grey Sweater. I know that hurts and I'm sorry. It hurts me too. It's the end of an era for us. But it's for the best. You have given me fifteen years of the warmest winters in my life.

I will never forget you, Perfect Grey Sweater. Good bye.

Love,

Day 15,725: Thanksgiving with the Pets

2011-11-24T13:20:00.004-05:00

Me: Ok, let’s go around the room and everyone say something you’re thankful for. I’ll start. I’m thankful for my friends and you guys. I’m thankful to be able to go to school. I’m thankful for nature and the ability to enjoy it. I’m also thankful for refrigerators, warm clothes, and for dark porters on chilly days. Ok, Pup, what are you thankful for?

The Dog: I’m thankful for walks in the park! I’m thankful for puppy treats, peanut butter, and yogurt! I’m also thankful for leaves to roll in! And turkey! I’m really thankful for turkey! Can we have turkey now? OMG! TURKEY! Ooo! And gravy! Can I have the giblets?

Me: Ok, that’s great, Sweetie…

The Dog: OH! And I’m thankful for trees and fire hydrants! And I’m thankful the Cat doesn’t have front claws! And I’m thankful when you scratch me behind my ears! Not a fan of the brush, but I’m thankful for spa day! Oh, and I love the neighborhood kids! And I love bones; did I say that one yet? And I’m also thankful for rides in the car! And I’m thankful for naps! And dog parks! Oh yeah and I’m thankful for my foxy neighbor Eloise! She is so awesome; can she come over to play later? And I’m thankful for…

Me: I love your enthusiasm Pup. How about if we let someone else go? The sooner we finish…

The Dog: TURKEY! OMG! TURKEY, TURKEY, TURKEY!

Me: That's right, Pup. Ok, how about you Birdie?

The Bird: I’m thankful there are no kids around here. Getting off the subway and running by my cage and slamming their hands against it. Do you know how awful that is? Do you? It’s so traumatic! I don’t think I will ever recover from that. It just makes me nervous you know? And when I’m nervous I want to pull my feathers out. Those terrible, terrible kids. *Shivers*

Me: Um, how about something a little more positive and uplifting?

The Bird: I’m thankful for being able to make sweet love to my perches. *Sighs* Excuse me for a moment….

Me: Um, ew. Please stop, we’re getting ready to eat.

Me: Ok, Dr. Evil…that just leaves you.

The Cat: I’m thankful the Dog and Bird are scared of me.

Me: That’s it?

The Cat: I’m thankful you’re scared of me?

Me: I’m not scared of you. Just cautious because you're batshitcrazy.

The Cat: Whateves. I’m just glad you all recognize my ultimate and supreme authority around here...

The Dog: TURKEY! TURKEY NOW! *starts doing a happy dance*

The Bird: *squeak squeak squeak squeak*

The Cat: *looks around - obviously bored*

Me: And I am thankful for wine. *Looks for corkscrew.*

Day 15,685: Fat Free Apple Dessert

2011-10-15T18:52:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I want something a little sweet, but I don't want to overindulge in a traditional dessert. This recipe is so easy and yields a satisfying treat. I like to use gala apples to add sweetness.

Fat Free Apple Dessert - serves 1

ingredients:

1 apple

cinnamon to taste

directions:

Wash apple. Cut into bite sized pieces (think apple pie) and put into a microwave safe bowl. Sprinkle with cinnamon. Microwave on high for 1 minute. Stir and enjoy.

Sometimes I doctor it up a little more by adding 1 tsp of butter (no longer a fat free dessert) and 1 tsp of brown sugar. That works really well with tart apples like granny smiths.

I've also tossed in a few raisins before nuking, but sometimes they explode in the microwave. Tasty nonetheless. I've also tossed in about 1 tsp of chopped walnuts before nuking as well.

You can't beat a simple, single serve dessert.

Day 15,601: Nice gals finish petrol-less.

2011-07-23T17:34:00.002-04:00

This morning I was up early because a local church was going to give away free gas. It was going to be at a place that was going to be revealed at 9am. I had my computer all set up and ready. I had one webpage for the news station that would be announcing it. One webpage open for their Twitter feed. Another open to their Facebook feed. And another one for Google maps for directions with my address already plugged in.

It was a limited amount of petrol they were giving away, so I knew I had to be ready to go. I figured I had a decent chance since the church was in my neighborhood. They had to use a gas station in the same nabe, right?

They make the announcement and I run down stairs and hop in the car. I push the speed limits until I hit traffic. Lots and lots of traffic. Lots and lots and lots of traffic. I wasn't the only morning bird after this worm.

Did I get any of the free gas? No.

Because of me being me, I passed up the opportunity to make two illegal turns to get into the gas station (like other folks were doing) to do the right thing and wait my turn. Only my turn never came. I was right up at the turning place when the police blocked off the entrance because the offer was up. The announcement was made at 9:02am, I was turned away at 9:35am. Nice girls finish last, sometimes.

Day 15,600: shellfish allergies

2011-07-22T22:14:00.003-04:00

I learned something yesterday.

Yesterday I learned my dog is allergic to shrimp. That's right. Shrimp.

See I wanted Chinese food for dinner and couldn't figure out what exactly I wanted. At the last minute I got some shrimp fried rice. I cannot even tell you the last time I've had shrimp fried rice, that's how long it's been.

So I'm sitting on the couch eating this stuff and even though I know seafood is terrible for cats, I bite off a little tail of one and summons the cat. The cat sniffs it, turns his nose up, and saunters off.

The dog, not missing an opportunity, lunges for it before I can reach to pick it up.

A few hours later, I'm getting ready for bed and the dog is lying there. I tell him to move and he kind of moves in a lethargic way. I also notice he won't look at me. He is so much like a little human kid sometimes. So I have to do the Mumma face grab to get him to look at me.

His face was swollen. Around the eyes, around his muzzle. And he's having trouble breathing.

He has other seasonal allergies, so I just thought they were flaring up. It was too late to hit the vet for his usual steroid remedy, so I opted for the home remedy the vet said I could use. Benadryl. It was a restless night as I kept waking up to check to see if he was breathing. His muzzle was swollen to the point where his breathing sounded labored.

The next morning he was fine. If it had been his regular allergies, he would have still been swollen and we would have been on our way to the vet for his steroids. But no. No signs of swelling or anything. It took me a while for it to dawn on me that the only thing out of the ordinary was the tiniest, cat-sized bite of shrimp.

I Googled it and yes, dogs can be allergic to shellfish. Who knew? I certainly didn't.

Day 15,576: Multiple Intelligences Quiz

2011-06-28T18:27:00.003-04:00

I was reading an article today on martial arts and the learning styles of the students. The article goes through the various "Intelligences" and explains how you can optimize your learning according to how you learn. So I found a quiz online that helps one determine their multiple intelligences. I'm sharing because those that know me outside of ~~Plato's Cave~~ the internet world will chuckle knowingly at my results. If you want, you can take the quiz here.

Your top three intelligences:

Intelligence	Score (5.0 is highest)	Description

	4.29	Nature: You are sensitive to nature and environment. You probably know the names of rocks, flowers, birds, and trees. You love to be outdoors.

	3.57	Spatial: You remember things visually, including exact sizes and shapes of objects. You like posters, charts, and graphics. You like any kind of visual clues. You enjoy drawing.

	3.57	Social: You like to develop ideas and learn from other people. You like to talk. You have good social skills. Effective techniques of enhancing your learning using your social intelligence include taking part in group discussions or discussing a topic one-to-one with another person.

The scores for your other five intelligences:


3.43	3	2.43	2.29	1.29

Just because these five are not in your top three doesn’t mean you’re not strong in them. If your average score for any intelligence is above three, you’re probably using that intelligence quite often to help you learn.

Day 15,572: Top Four Worst Movies

2011-06-24T10:01:00.003-04:00

1. The Tree of Life.

I think it's a really bad sign when during the movie you say to yourself "well, at least it's pretty to look at." It's also a bad sign when you start looking around to see if anyone else is as fidgety as yourself. Please note I did see two people sleeping. It's also bad when a movie with such minimal dialogue comes across as being preachy at times. The only cliche that was missing from this movie was a curlicued font Fin at the end. Such a pretentious film. Why did it win a Palme d'Or?

2. Threesome.

Who knew that a movie about working out the logistics of a threesome could be so terrible?

3. Legends of the Fall.

This was a movie with Brad Pitt as a product placement. He fights bears, he kisses babies, he's moody and serious, yet passionate, isn't he f**king awesome that Brad Pitt? Bleah.

4. Showgirls.

Every time I mention this one people say "oh but it's bad in a good way...", "it's campy fun." No, it's not. It's the worst acting I've seen since elementary school plays. Terrible acting.

Day 15,556: Treks in the Wild World

2011-06-08T20:12:00.004-04:00

I think one of the cutest actors out there these days is Bradley Cooper. Very easy on the eye. To the point where I would go see a terrible movie with him in it, just to spend 90 minutes watching him act. Am I crushed out on him? No. Or at least I wasn't until last night.

I was watching my favorite television show, Globetrekker, on PBS. The episode title comes up, Great American Treks, and I get ready to turn the channel. I can't help it, I would prefer to see their shows that explore the globe, not local stuff. I pause for a moment due to a certain pup wishing to have his toy thrown, look up, and there is a really young Bradley Cooper. Long bowl cut with blonde edges (typically not a color I'm drawn to), slim, winsome smile, long sideburns, and a 50 pound pack on his back hiking in a remote part of Alaska to see caribou migrate.

By the end of his segment, only 1/2 of the show, I was completely smitten.

Day 15,519: Uh oh, It's Magic

2011-05-02T13:20:00.001-04:00

Once upon a time there was a puppy who did not like his crate. He quickly learned how to open it and escape resulting in his owners locking it with a lock. They would then place the key on the shelf above his wire cage.

One day the woman returned home to find the puppy out of the crate. The locks were still in place and the key had fallen perfectly in the center of the cage. As a result of the apparent elaborate magic trick slash escape act, the puppy was nicknamed Houdini.

Fast forward through time and arrive now. My AC is broken and the cat and dog were locked in my bedroom on Friday in anticipation of the maintenance crew’s arrival.

I get home Friday and look up to see the cat sitting in the bedroom window. I go upstairs and unlock the front door to find the dog sitting in the living room. The bedroom door still closed. The cat locked within. The dog was not where I had left him. I remembered Houdini’s first trick. I raised an eyebrow. Then I figured the maintenance crew had let him out after their visit because they love him. Everyone loves him. I kid you not.

This morning I go online to pay my rent. I log into the apartment website and notice the service request is. Still. Pending…

Houdini strikes again.

Day 15,491: Random Acts of Kindness

2011-04-04T18:42:00.002-04:00

Today I went to the dermatologist for my 6 month check. I left with frozen places on my face and stitches from a biopsy on my forehead. On my nose I've graduated from somewhat innocent basal cell and moved up to precancerous squamous cell cancer. Woo.

But this post isn't about how terrible that makes me feel or even her suggestion to move to Ireland or the Pacific Northwest to become a mushroom farmer...

It's about the tiny Korean woman who owns a little bodega. I go in there a lot. Today I walk in with my bandaged and battered face and she asked "What happen?" I told her and she actually walked around the counter and said "I pray for you" and gave me a hug.

The hug (and kind sentiment) from a small woman who is pretty much a stranger to me, and from a non-touchy culture to boot, just completely took me off guard and meant a lot to me. And I wanted to share that kindness with you.

Have a great evening.

Day 15,488: Bzzt!

2011-03-29T06:27:00.002-04:00

Every time I try to get an English Muffin out of my toaster I am reminded of the game Operation. You know, the one where you take ginormous tweezers and try to get a ginormous organ out of a tiny hole and it buzzes and scares you?

I am just as unskilled in the game as I was as a kid. I've got the toasted fingers to prove it.

Day 15,476: Things that skeeve

2011-03-20T11:29:00.005-04:00

I went out in the woods of Pocahontas State Park yesterday twice. Once for birding, once for what I thought was going to be a nature hike but turned out to be a Pocahontas employee telling us all about the amenities. Had I known I was going on an advertisement walk I would have stayed behind to help feed orphan squirrels from syringes.

Anyway, I was getting ready for a shower last night and found a male tick on me. I say male because he was on my boob. (Yes, that's how I roll, anything for a chuckle and grin from you, Gentle Reader.)

I can't think of anything that skeeves me out more than ticks. Especially ticks on me. They really do send a cold chill up my spine.

So I freak out a little bit. Not just for my own gross out, but because I had been home a while before taking a shower and taking off my hiking clothes. Ok, let's just put it out there, I am so out of shape these days that my body required a nap when I got home. I didn't even take my clothes off. Just plopped my pack on the floor and crashed on the couch for an hour.

Are there ticks on my couch now? More freak out. The biggest freak out of all came when I remembered hugging and playing with the dog when I woke up. Dogs get ticks, but my dog can't get ticks. He had lyme disease last year (or was it the year before?) and I'm not sure if he can make it through another bout of it. He was so sick. I don't want to lose my Lil Buddy.

So everyone got extra doses of flea and tick preventative last night. The blanket on the couch has been washed, as were my hiking clothes. And instead of my usual tick removal and bon fire to kill it, I have a stupid vaseline covered tick in a ziploc baggie on my fridge.

Did you even know you were supposed to keep the suckers (ha ha) for two weeks in a ziploc? I had no clue until the dog had lyme disease. I found out you're supposed to keep them in case you, or your dog, exhibits signs of lyme disease so they can test the tick. All I know is that this provides extra skeeve factor of seeing the thing for two weeks every time I pull something from the fridge. Yeah, normal people can keep it someplace else, but I have an evil kitteh who gets into everything and this is the only place I can put it where a) he can't get it and b) I can remember to throw it away.

Worst of all is that this Safety Precaution robs me of the basic joy I get when I take a match to a recently removed tick and hear that satisfying pop of him exploding. It's true, I do take great pleasure in my revenge on ticks that want to feast on me. Love me or leave me.

Day 15,475: Crack is Whack!

2011-03-19T22:23:00.000-04:00

But butter krak is tasty...

Day 15,464: Just Kids by Patti Smith

2011-03-08T21:30:00.002-05:00

New York City in the 1970s was an exciting time. The city was more seedy and less like Disney. Discos and drag queens. Punk rock, hip hop, AIDS, and Warhol. It was a time of a buzzing energy. Patti Smith captures that electricity in her autobiography Just Kids.

I don't really pick up autobiographies, but this one was recommended over and over. "You have to read about the early days of punk."

And so I did. And it was so well written that I was sucked into the story of Patti and Robert Mapplethorpe. Their friendship. Their development as artists. The scene as it developed and morphed around them and with them. I even got choked up at the end as she emotionally wrote about him, her early lover and best friend, dying of AIDS.

read / ~~skim~~ / ~~skip~~

Day 15,454: Of Leftovers

2011-02-26T11:24:00.005-05:00

A few weeks ago I had some leftover rice from an order of Chinese food. I had one egg. I was inspired by an episode I saw of Globe Trekker where the very entertaining host Ian Wright was in Japan and was served a bowl of warm rice in which he was to stir a raw egg for breakfast. A popular breakfast dish called tamago kake gohan. Our food supply just doesn't make me feel comfortable with eating a raw egg so I stirred the eggs and rice together (not adding any seasonings) and made a rice omelet. I cannot express how satisfying this was for breakfast. I have been craving it all the time ever since.

I found out that, in general, rice omelets are not uncommon in Asia. They are called omurice. A thin crepe-like egg shell is made and wrapped around rice as a filling. Similar to a burrito with an egg wrapper instead of a tortilla wrapper. A popular stuffing combination is chicken, ketchup, and rice.

While mine was different in that the egg and rice were cooked together, the basic flavors must be similar. You can best believe that when I make it to Asia, I will be seeking out omurice for my breakfasts. Now if you would be so kind as to excuse me, I'm off to the Chinese food place to buy a large container of steamed rice. Have a great day.

Day 15,453: Gold Boy, Emerald Girl by Yiyun Li

2011-02-25T23:11:00.003-05:00

Gold Boy, Emerald Girl by Yiyun Li was a fantastic collection of shorts stories taking place in China. The anthropologist in me really loved the insight into the daily lives of the ordinary characters. Tidbits about how the political climate affected residents. How government mandates changed their living conditions. Social norms and expectations, etc. I was all over that.

And then you have the stories themselves. If I had to describe them all in a few words, I would say there was a thread of melancholy running through them all. The stories are told simply and with honesty, bearing witness to things we are unable to change. Sad, but resilient and beautifully told.

I loved this book and am bummed that this is the only thing I have read by her. I am looking forward to checking out her other stuff.

read / ~~skim~~ / ~~skip~~

Day 15,448: Find My Spot

2011-02-20T11:27:00.002-05:00

I'm in a bit of a conundrum. I am figuring out where I should finally put down roots. I want to buy a house in three years, after school, but what I thought I wanted I'm not sure if I really want.

I have lived in cities all of my adult life. I love the convenience of everything. You can walk to stores, walk to the grocery store, walk to parks, catch a bus/subway to the movies or museum or whatever. Have food brought to you. Laundromats within walking distance. Everything is just right there.

I also love nature and gardening. I had even toyed with the idea of living on a farm a while ago. A farm with a nut orchard, bees and goats. I love the idea of seeing trees when I look outside. I like to see birds other than sky rats (pigeons). I love walking in the woods.

So here I am, 3 months into living in the suburbs and I am hugely annoyed that I have to drive fifteen minutes to go grocery shopping. There are no corner stores! What do you do when you need a 40 and some chips (ha ha)? How come nobody delivers out here except for chain pizza places and one Chinese food joint?

While I do love seeing all the lovely birds at my feeder and tramping through areas with trees with the boy, I miss the convenience of everything else. It feels so isolated out here. When I do see neighbors walking around they just aren't that friendly. I think I've talked to one guy and that's only because the boy is in love with his Shetland Sheepdog. You just can't not say anything while the boys sniff each other's rears. Does this mean that living in the suburbs just isn't for me? I'm a city gal at heart?

So how do I reconcile this when I start looking for a place to live? Are there any cities out there that are so green that I can have a house with a backyard, garden, trees, apiary, and birds....and still be able to walk to the corner store to buy my Moms a pack of Kools and some pork skins (ha ha)? Where I can order in Thai food and walk my granny cart to the grocery store for sustenance? Where I can grow some nightshades and basil and be a mozzarella ball away from a fresh appetizer? Where is this mystery city that I can call home?

Good thing I have 3 years to seriously think about/research this...

Day 15,445: Great Backyard Bird Count

2011-02-17T20:18:00.002-05:00

I'm letting my geek flag fly today. I'm excited to say that I get to 'officially' test out my new binys (binoculars) this weekend by participating in the Great Backyard Bird Count.

For four days you count the birds you see in your backyard for as little as 15 minutes. Then you fly over (sorry!) to the GBBC website and click on 'Submit Your Checklists' then follow the prompts to report your sightings.

The scientists at Cornell University then use the information for things like comparing winter migration on a year to year basis. It can also be used to see how the winter weather is affecting bird populations and even alert scientists to which bird populations may be in need of conservation efforts.

You can do it for just one day if you're pressed for time or have other obligations this holiday weekend. If you see me out there with my ginormous binys and my new Peterson's Guide, stop by and say hi. Happy Birding!

Day 15,441: An Open Letter to Joaquin Phoenix

2011-02-13T10:39:00.002-05:00

Dear Joaquin,

I fell in love with Nabokov's Lolita because of how he made the reader feel sympathy for the pedophile. I figured an author who could tell the story to the point where it sounded like a painfully real love as opposed to the gross thing it actually is would always be a brilliant writer in my book.

Fast forward to Friday night. Two friends having movie night after some delicious Indian food. We both picked "I'm Still Here" without knowing very much about the movie. We threw a log in the fire place and settled in to watch. It was a complete train wreck. I wanted to hug you, get you into rehab, tell you "sorry boo, hip hop just isn't your thing" and yes, I'm going to say it, wash your damn hair. In all honesty though I wouldn't have gotten close to that whirlpool lest my own ship go down as well. Be there, done that.

Afterwards we were stunned. Filled with "holy crap" and "is Joaquin still alive?" and "if he's not dead, he will be soon." And the most common adjective of our evening: tragic. What a tragic documentary.

The next day I got a text from my friend saying it was a mockumentary. I Googled and found it to be true. I could have been pissed from the emotional roller coaster you took me on, but instead literally laughed aloud. Absolutely. Fucking. Brilliant.

You took something not real and spoon-fed it to me in such a believable way that I was connected to the story and filled with emotion. Those times of your emotional angst and tears? Oy, I just wanted to give you a shoulder to cry on (and suggest I wash your hair to make you feel better, of course). You held up a mirror to The Industry and Pop Media and oh, what an ugly face it revealed. Tell me, are they still smarting from that sting? I am dying to know if P Diddy was in on it. That was the nicest "no" I could imagine from him.

Anyway, the movie was so genius that I cannot stop thinking about how well you "got" me. Thanks for the ride, Man.

Sincerely,

~ATG

Day 15,438: Mushroom and Farro Soup

2011-02-07T08:55:00.003-05:00

Last night, while watching the worst Superbowl halftime show ever, I made soup. I love BEP's catchy pop music, but they stink live. Sorry guys, but it's true. Some musical groups were made for just studio work.

I wanted something (oddly enough for me) beefy, but I didn't really want to gnaw on cow. I also was looking for something with a hearty flavor. I flipped through a bunch of cookbooks and came out uninspired. Later I was catching up on blog reading and saw a soup that whet my appetite on Smitten Kitchen's blog. Mushroom and Farro Soup. I love her blog, I really do. And her random postings of her absolutely adorable curly-haired son are icing on the blogosphere cake.

The hardest part of this recipe was finding farro. Had I done a little research before heading to the market I would have found that there is a lot of debate as to what farro really is. It, in the most general sense, is a type of wheat. I could have bought wheatberries in the bulk department of the Whole ~~Paychecks~~ Foods. What I ended up doing was buying a bag of imported Italian farro, 500 grams (a little over a pound), for ten bucks.

Insert hindsight quote here.

Yes, I could have substituted pearled barley, but I was intrigued by the ingredient I have never heard of before. Seduced by the exotic sounding newness of an unexplored grain. Just like I'm seduced by clever packaging. My name is ATG and I'm a Package Ho. But, Gentle Readers, that is another story for another day.

The rest of the recipe is so easy to do. Rough chopped veggies and cooking. And it came out so tasty, it was hard not to go back for seconds after my first sample bowl. I should mention I had already eaten dinner. Ahem. So if you're looking for something a bit beefy tasting without having to actually eat beef, and hearty, and flavorful, I would definitely recommend this recipe.

Day 15,437: Poser by Claire Dederer

2011-02-06T23:33:00.002-05:00

"Poser: my life in twenty-three yoga poses" (lower case letters hers) by Claire Dederer is a memoir. Where do I begin?

I have never read a memoir with a less interesting story. It doesn't engage the reader enough to make you care about the people. And the 23 yoga poses? A lot of them are repeated. With such a clever title, I was expecting something so interesting that I would run over to the hot yoga place down the street and immediately sign up to try something new. It wasn't that. It wasn't that at all.

A line in the book reads "I thought yoga was done by self-indulgent middle-aged ladies with a lot of time on their hands..."

In the shortest book review ever, I will say "I thought this book was done by a self-indulgent middle-aged lady with a lot of time on her hands.

~~read~~ / ~~skim~~ / skip

Day 15,430: Strawberry Peppercorn Ice Cream

2011-02-01T20:30:00.003-05:00

The Kroger Private Selections Strawberry Peppercorn ice cream was absolutely delish. I would buy it all the time if the consistency wasn't so airy.

Those are flecks of chocolate chips by the way, not pepper.

Pepper in ice cream, who knew?

Day 15,427: A Day of Work

2011-01-30T15:41:00.004-05:00

Things are finally settling down around here at Casa de ATG. Everything has found a new home. The cat has stopped climbing to perch in fear on top of the kitchen cabinets. The dog has stopped freaking out every time I leave the house. Well, for the most part. I have really low windows which make it easy for pet peering. His new thing is to watch me scrape frost, ice, or snow from the car windows and to bark and howl whenever anyone walks to their own car in my vicinity.

Whilst I appreciate his diligence and concern for my safety, I'm more concerned about him annoying sleeping people in the building. At first I would look at him when he started the baroo-ing, but then I realized that is probably a bit of positive reinforcement. Now I force myself to ignore him and hopefully he will think I can't hear him and stop.

Now I'm thinking of how much sun my porch gets in preparation for spring planting. So far, I'm thinking of tomatoes, basil, strawberries, catnip, and climbing cucumbers. And I need to put a chair and little tiny table out there as to indulge my love of eating outside on warm days. I also need some other kind of bird feeder as Kitty TV is keeping the wee jungle kitty occupied and out of trouble for hours.

I could go on about all the things I'm digging about this apartment. The fireplace. The balcony. The plethora of bird species I see on a daily basis. The button on the trash compactor thing outside brings me great joy. Press the button and watch garbage get smushed into a tidy little mass. I know, strange and OCD-ish, but I press the button every time I take the dog on a walk. And the washing machine in my place. I forgot how completely awesome it is to be able to just wash clothing without having to haul stuff to a laundromat.

Today I finally mapped out a decent walk for the pup. He's a big boy and we need to do at least 2 miles a day to keep him well exercised and happy. We've been doing the perimeter of the complex, but it's only a half mile. Totally not enough for him. Too much happy dancing on the leash, jerking me around, and trying to wrestle the neighborhood dogs while on leash. The new walk takes out outside the complex and around the surrounding neighborhood. Quiet with houses larger than I would ever want, but lots of squirrels and space. Only drawback is there are no sidewalks. So odd to me: no sidewalks. The sidewalks in my complex don't even connect between the buildings. I guess they made them to take people from their apartments to their cars and that's it?

Anyway I also found a dog run close by. We will go there when the ground is a little dryer. Last thing I want to do is come home and wash a muddy pup every time we go to play.

Today was a busy one in my kitchen. I made rice and beans and topped them with a mango chipotle sauce I picked up at a gourmet food shop. I have bread baking right now. And I made cookies earlier to use up this last random egg I had.

Odd recipe: 1 egg, 1 cup peanut butter, 1 cup white sugar. Mix and bake spoonfuls at 350 for 6 - 8 minutes. 3 ingredients = peanut butter cookie? What you end up with is a very chewy peanut buttery cookie. Will I make it again? I think I have better recipes for pb cookies and I think the dog would have appreciated a scrambled egg for breakfast.

I'm doing more cooking for myself than ever before. Not only does it save money, but I really like knowing the wholesome ingredients I'm putting into stuff. Best thing is that I don't have jars of msg or hfcs or red dye number whatever lying around the house...so they stay out of my food.

I'm on a waiting list for a class that Anthony Bourdain designed to help normal folks like myself learn basic cooking skills. While I feel as though I do have a decent grasp on cooking, I have a huge celeb crush on Mr. Bourdain and often think of him in compromising ways with really good bourbon by our side. Too bad he isn't actually teaching the class. Although methinks I wouldn't learn very much as my mind would keep traipsing into the gutter. Fiddle dee dee, I'm only human you know.

Day 15,424: Of Love and War...

2011-01-27T20:29:00.002-05:00

My new apartment is insulated quite well. I know this because two of my neighbors have been fighting and I can't quite tell from which direction it's coming from.

The only thing I know for certain is that they are young, probably in their 20s. At least she is. I know because when they fight, I'm transported back to my 20s and how relationships were back then. I hear her crying and begging. Telling him she can change and is changing. I hear his position of dominance in the relationship. He knows she is under his thumb. He fills her with the 'I don't knows', makes his demands, and eventually seals the deal with makeup sex.

And this is without even hearing all of the words. It's the tonal qualities I hear mostly. A few words come through now and then. A few fragmented sentences if they carry their fight into the bathroom. All I know is there is nothing anyone can say to her right now. He is her world, and well, we just wouldn't understand.

If only she knew how much I, you, we understand. And how much I'm glad to have evolved from being that 20 year old. Just like she will eventually. Hopefully.

Funny how you feel like you've been the same person for ages, and you hear something like this and then you realize how long your own journey has been. Listening to them makes me wonder how some couples grow old together after marrying young. So many phases of life to go through. Maturing together must be so difficult, yet on some level has to be the cement that bonds them for life.

I don't know. I don't know much about relationships. But I do know I will never be That 20 year old girl I again. Crying in a bathroom under someone's thumb swearing I will change to suit his needs. I feel so bad for her. I really, really do.

Day 15,422: Kroger Private Selection Ice Cream

2011-01-25T21:48:00.007-05:00

This past weekend while wandering the aisles at my new local Kroger, I stumbled across the ice cream section. I say stumbled because I always get lost in a new grocery store. Heck, it took me a month to figure out where the closest grocery store was to the new apartment. I feel like I've moved from the heart of the city to bum-f USA. Everything is a drive and I feel like I'm the only person that walks around here. But I digress.

Kroger has come out with a new line of fancy pants ice creams under their Private Selection Reserve brand. Tonight I tried the Chocolate Hazelnut Mascarpone. My overall impression on such a fancy named dessert is: meh.

I expected the mascarpone flavor to be a bit stronger, but it was good regardless. The chocolate covered hazelnuts were tasty as was the ribbon of chocolate. My main problem was air. The problem could be with me as I am a gelato fan which, as you know, is very dense. Here you have these wonderful flavors melding together in an ice cream with so much air whipped in the consistency is like that of frozen cool whip. Yep, I said it, frozen cool whip.

I know store brands have a tendency towards very airy ice creams, but I think if you're going to take chances on flavors that would appeal to daring foodies you should go all the way and not fill it with 6 tons of air. Like other, denser, premium ice creams do.

Would I buy this again? Probably not. The flavors didn't wow me enough to get past the annoying mouth feel. Even at the wallet friendly price of $2.99.

Perhaps I will have luck with the other (Strawberry Peppercorn) pint I bought.

Day 15,419: Redbox

2011-01-22T15:26:00.002-05:00

Oh how I love thee Redbox. Let me count the ways:

1. New releases = $1.00
2. You're everywhere making picking up and dropping off movies a breeze.
3. Emailed receipts.
4. Linking my email address with my credit card, so I don't have to type it in every time. Thanks for keeping me lazy.

Your only drawback is your somewhat limited selection. Otherwise, thanks so much for the ease of renting Despicable Me. Cutest movie I've seen in a while. Not so much for Dinner for Schmucks. If I had to describe D4S in one word it would be: weird.

Despicable Me...totally adorbs. If I were the type of person to buy and collect movies, I would definitely own this one.

Anyone know where I can get me a minion?

Day 15,406: Carpe Donut

2011-01-09T13:59:00.002-05:00

This morning I opened my freezer to find a frozen package of Carpe Donut's Cinnamon Sugar Donuts. 8 minutes at 375 degrees directly on the rack and my kitchen smelled like cinnamon goodness.

I took a bite. Nicely crunchy on the outside and cake like on the inside. The cinnamon sugar on the outside complemented the spice flavors on the inside. Warm flavors of ginger, nutmeg, and cloves. Their gimmick is a simple one. (One that I wish was more the norm of all food purveyors, but that's another day's rant.) Simple organic ingredients. No trans-fats, no hydrogenated stuff, no high fructose corn syrup...and according to the simple packaging, they're made with love.

They were so good that I'm truly sorry I don't live in the 'Ville (That's Charlottesville to you non-Virginians) to Twitter stalk their truck around town.

Short review, but I gotta um, run. Not to the kitchen to heat up another one, mind you...cuz that would be um, greedy or gluttony or something, right?

Seize the donut, yo!

Carpe Donut
(new storefront according to Twitter)
1715 Allied Lane
Charlottesville, VA
behind Cville Coffee

To find the donut truck's current location, follow Carpe Donut on the Twitter machine.

You can find the frozen ones at Whole Foods in Short Pump.

Day 15,402: Chains and Whips Excite Me

2011-01-05T13:30:00.003-05:00

A co-worker made me a mix CD for Xmas as we're always talking about our various earworms, typically from the genre of dance/pop music.

The whole thing is sooo good that I have been using it in conjunction with coffee to try to waken myself enough to drive to work.

The first three songs are as follows:
a remix of Ciara's "Gimmie Dat"
a remix of Ayria's "The Gun Song"
a dance version of Rihanna's naughty little ditty "S & M" the lyrics of which have been permanently etched into my brain: "I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it, sex in the air I don't care I love the smell of it, sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me..."

Probably not the coolest song to sing to the furkids as I'm dancing in the living room. Honestly though, they have no idea what I'm singing, they're all like 'yay, we're dancing!'

By the time these three play more than once in my car, I'm out of my mind's virtual club and going into the dreary day job. Just don't mind the glitter coming from my briefcase...

Day 15,399: Healthy Request...

2011-01-02T13:08:00.004-05:00

I've been feeling a bit under the weather lately. When I feel sickly the thing I crave the most is Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup. I'm sure it's a throwback from having been served it when I was sick as a child.

Well while I was waiting for my Healthy Request Chicken Noodle Soup to heat up I started to read the scary ingredient list. I'm not fooling myself into thinking that their soup is chemical free and all. I cannot help but want it anyway. Anyway, so I'm reading this ingredient list and I don't know when they changed the recipe, but there is high fructose corn syrup in it. High fructose, corn syrup, in my "healthy" request soup.

Number 1: When I buy junk labeled "healthy", even though according to the FDA rules healthy means diddly, I do not expect to see hfcs in it. I would expect Campbell's to put that stuff in the regular condensed...no wait, I really wouldn't because...

Number 2: Who puts sugar in chicken noodle soup? There isn't one recipe in any of my cookbooks, and I have lots of cookbooks, that say sugar should be added to a chicken soup recipe. Yeah, you can pop in a tablespoon (or less) in some other heartier soups to counter balance the heaviness...like in a meat laden chili. But chicken noodle? Ick!

So now what the h e double hockey sticks am I supposed to do when I'm feeling germ laden? In a perfect world, my X father in law would hook me up with some of his made from scratch chicken noodle soup with matzo balls. Man, that would be sooo good. But it's not a perfect world and I guess I'll just have to make my own damn soup.

Day 15,398: New Year's Resolution

2011-01-01T22:14:00.002-05:00

This year I've decided to make a New Year's Resolution that anyone can stick with. With a few simple tips, you too can create a New Year's Resolution you can achieve. This year, my New Year's Resolution is to gain 25 lbs.

If you follow my easy plan, you too can successfully gain 25 lbs. I know it's going to be hard for some of you out there. But with a little drive and determination I know you can do it. Here are a few tips on how to gain weight this year:

1. Drink plenty of water mixed with high fructose corn syrup. This mixture comes pre-made and in various sizes at your local supermarket under the universal heading soda. You should aim for 4 to 6 glasses of soda a day.

2. Work more sweets into you diet. This can really be hard after eating a nutritious meal. One idea that is working for me is to cut out all of that low calorie fruit and vegetable stuff. It's mostly water and doesn't fill you up as well as a twelve pack of donuts.

3. Be choosy about nighttime snacks. You really want something that you can eat a lot of, preferably sitting in front of your television. My favorites are potato chips and pie, both which can easily be eaten directly from the container. This keeps you from burning precious calories walking to and from the kitchen for seconds and thirds.

4. Exercise less. Just stop moving. All that unnecessary walking and going to the gym have got to go if you want to meet your goal. Maybe you should keep your tennis shoes under an inspirational outfit you have hanging on your door. I have a colorful muumuu on my bedroom door and a larger pair of sweat pants hanging on my closet door. They're both way too big right now, but I have my fingers crossed that soon I will be able to wear them without them hanging off of me like some anorexic super model. *shudders*

5. Make a plan and stock your kitchen. First you need to rid your kitchen of all of those "healthy" foods. No more of that stuff while you're on this diet. Don't worry, after you meet your goal you can slowly introduce fruits and vegetables back into your diet. BUT ONLY IN MODERATION! You don't want to get back into any of those bad habits that left you this way from the get go.

6. Eat simple carbs at every meal. White sugar is a must. The more processed the better. If you're going to do this, you've got to do it right.

7. Supersize it. Whenever you go out to grab a bite to eat, make sure you're ordering the largest size available. This way you're getting the maximum number of calories per meal.

8. Read labels. The only way you're going to know that you're eating enough calories, and the right kind of calories, is to read labels. The longer the ingredient list the better. Bonus points for added fat, high sodium and chemicals.

Here is a sample diet to help you on your way:
Breakfast:
2 Pop Tarts
4 slices of bacon
1 super big gulp of Mountain Dew

Mid Morning Snack:
Something from the office snack machine, preferably from the non-healthy choice selection. Chips or a honey bun are good choices.
Bottle of Pepsi from machine.

Lunch:
Fast food meal super-sized with a side of chicken nuggets.

Mid Afternoon Snack:
Candy bar
Bottle of Coke

Dinner:
1 Supreme Pizza with thick crust
1 side order of bread sticks
1 order of mozzarella sticks
1 order of spicy wings with extra ranch dressing
1 2 liter bottle of Sprite

Early Evening Snack:
2 sleeves of those Thin Mints you have hidden in the back of your freezer
1/2 bag Doritos

Late Night Snack:
Other 1/2 bag Doritos
6 antacids
1 hydrocodone (specifically for keeping you still on the couch so you won't burn off any valuable calories)

With these tips and a meal plan to get you started you are well on your way to actually keeping a New Year's Resolution.

Good luck and I can't wait to hear about your successes!

Day 15,393: Frostings

2010-12-27T21:57:00.003-05:00

Are we, as a society, over the whole cupcake thing? I mean really, who is still paying $3.00 for a cupcake when you can make a whole batch of cupcakes at home for $3.00. Does anyone else out there realize how ridiculous it is to pay so much for something so small? It's just, I mean, come on people. It's a cupcake! That's it! Just a stinking, tiny, burst of sugar that is way, way, way overpriced.

That being said...

I had my mouth all set for a slice of lemon chess pie (Westhampton Pastry Shop style) for Christmas dinner, but my Aunt threw a monkey wrench in my plans and requested cake instead. Thanks for that last minute request. I was booked solid and had no time for baking. Cake? Ugh. I am. So. Over. Cake. Thanks to an office atmosphere that has cake every time the wind changes direction. It got so bad I was not eating the celebratory cakes at all, and when my birthday came around I specifically requested no cake. I had birthday pie instead.

So what was I to do? The last thing I wanted was to have leftover cake rotting on my kitchen counter because I had no desire to eat it. A friend provided me with the answer: overpriced cupcakes. Yeah, they were expensive, but it was worth it to me to not have any leftovers. I would get a dozen, then my young cousins would be stoked about cupcake goodness, and I would not have any thing to take home other than The Plate of food my Aunt would insist I take home with me.

Frostings has an online ordering system on their website which made everything easy. They had a holiday assortment for $27, but that included flavors I know would not be eaten. My family is very meat & potatoes and "nothing funny" so an eggnog cupcake would be a no-no for them. Thus I had to pay more to get a dozen "non-weird" cupcake flavors. This hardly seems fair, but hey, what can I say, I'm in three dollar cupcake world.

I go to pick them up on Christmas Eve. Frostings is in the Short Pump area of the city in the same shopping center as Trader Joe's. It's a cute little place painted in pinks and browns. A self serve coffee station to the right as you walk in next to a refrigerated case containing single serve milk containers and water. Cute. In front of you is a large case displaying the cupcakes with their towering loads of frosting. Nobody I know has a mouth this tall. Behind the counter is an open work space where four busy beavers were mixing frosting, moving cupcakes around, and assembling boxes. Pretty neat to see all that.

Unless of course you just have one person at the counter. And that one person is slow as molasses. I am not kidding. There was one person in front of me. After that one person was done the counter person didn't wait on me, but shuffled some papers and highlighted some stuff and did some stuff on the computer/cash register. I am not kidding or exaggerating when I say it took me 20 minutes to pick up a pre-ordered box of cupcakes. This time was made more excruciating by having two more people come in behind me and nobody making any moves to help the highlighter girl with her impossibly hard task of manning the front counter. Seriously. I should not have been in there longer than five minutes. Even with one person in front of me. Meanwhile I'm losing my patience when I see ANOTHER worker bee come from the back just to stand in the production area sipping coffee. If I'm paying exorbitant prices for baked goods, I expect to have some decent customer service to go along with it. And it wasn't just me...the lady behind me actually said "What, are we invisible? Do we not count?" She was there just to pick up a pre-ordered box as well.

Anyway on to Christmas day...

Best. Cupcakes. In. Richmond.

There. I said it. I had tastes of a few of them. The red velvet was dense and flavorful. None of that overpowering red dye number whatever that overpowers most red velvets. The cream cheese was very cheesy as opposed to sugary sweetness (bonus points for me). The vanilla cake with the chocolate buttercream icing was smack-yo-mama good. The height was conquered each time with a fork instead of trying to get that huge thing in my mouth. (hush, Jess. ;b ) The snickerdoodle was a vanilla cupcake with icing that was cream cheesy with a nice touch of cinnamon. These were absolutely the best cupcakes I've had in Richmond so far. All of them were extremely rich. In all honesty just one will satisfy you for days and days. That dense. That rich. That good.

Would I get them again? I don't know. As good as they were, $30 bucks is a LOT of money for a dozen small but tall cupcakes. And the service at Frostings was frustratingly slow. It totally reminded me of shopping at the evil empire Wal*Mart where you wait and wait and wait to pay for your one item. I would say if you're really into the whole cupcake thing and you have the patience of a saint, this is definitely the place to go.

Frostings
11331 W Broad St
Suite 137
Glen Allen, VA 23060
804-360-2712

Day 15,389: Losing It by Laura Fraser

2010-12-23T21:21:00.003-05:00

Losing It: America's Obsession with Weight and the Industry that Feeds On It by Laura Fraser is a book I definitely recommend you pick up at your local library. It's one of those books that leave you with the whole 20/20 hindsight feeling.

The book starts off with an interesting history of women's weight in the U.S. from Victorian times to the current Kate Moss "ideal." She interviews diet gurus Susan Powter and Richard Simmons. Fraser experiments with every single diet out there short of surgery. From Jenny Craig to Weight Watchers to hypnosis, no stone is left unturned. Its most eyeopening revelation to me was doctors being so willing to participate in perpetuating the diet myth so they can make more money selling supplements. Fraser also delves into the deaths and problems surrounding the obsession with thin from life long side effects from gastro surgery to deaths from dieter's tea.

Fraser goes on to cite the studies proving diets don't work. Some people are just genetically predisposed to being larger than others. The weight loss folks know this. As the year turns and you head to Weight Watchers, be sure to note the disclaimer in their Week One materials. In large letters they type "Weight loss, for most people, is temporary."

read / ~~skim~~ / ~~skip~~

Day 15,385: 2010 Year in Review - A Meme

2010-12-19T11:49:00.004-05:00

1. What did you do in 2010 that you had never done before?
Took the GREs. Applied and got accepted into grad school. Went to roller derby practices. Did a collaborative art show with MD.

2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions, and will you make more this year?
I didn't make any resolutions per se. I just wanted to set a few goals for myself and work on them throughout the year. I did meet the goal of getting into grad school. This will hopefully set the ball rolling to meet my larger goals.
My only resolution is to watch my judgmental self. I'll leave it at that.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nobody close to me gave birth. My x cousins-in-law both had healthy baby girls this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nobody close to me died per se. My friend MH lost both of his parents this year though. The second in my peer group to lose a parent and the first to lose both. It's odd to think that we're getting to an age where this will start happening more frequently.

5. What countries did you visit?
None this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
More free time. I worked tree jobs this year, mon. I spent more time working than anything else. To quote Velma Hart at a town hall meeting with the President, "Is this my new reality?"

7. What dates in 2010 will be etched in your memory, and why?
April 9 - My very first art opening at a gallery in Petersburg with MD.
June 10 - My first roller derby practice.
October 11 - The day I took the GRE. Worst. Test. Ever.
November 21 - The day I got my acceptance letter to grad school.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting into grad school.

9. What was your biggest failure?
GRE math score: 200 (lowest score possible). This was even after paying for/taking an expensive Kaplan prep class. Nobody is good at everything. I am missing the math gene. I'm ok with that.

10. Did you suffer from an illness or injury?
HA! Oh to laugh! This year I had 5 surgeries and 4 excisions related to basal cell carcinoma. F cancer.

11. What is the best thing you bought?
The best things I bought were for other people. Don't you love it when you find The Perfect Gift for someone? I found an awesome necklace for one of my BFFs for her birthday and the perfect dump truck for another BFFs son for his birthday.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My friends MD and RM. Both are the most supportive women anyone could ever want to have in their corner. RM helped me immensely through the school thing and dried my tears of frustration over geometry. MD encouraged me to spread my artistic wings farther by collaborating with me on artwork then arranging everything for our first show together. My favorite conversation went like this:
Scene: My apartment living room floor surrounded by art supplies, including high gloss mod podge, and a naughty paintbrush-stealin' kitteh.
MD: "Oh, I got us a show at the so-n-so gallery."
Me: "What!?!?!?!?"
MD: "You didn't think we were doing this all for nothing did you?"
Me: "I thought it was just for, I dunno, well yeah....a show? Really? Oh sh**"

13. Whose behaviour left you appalled and depressed?
BP. "Hey let's dump gallons of toxins on the oil to make it look like it went away..." I could go on, but it's already been talked to death. And by death I mean all of the animals...

14. Where did most of your money go?
Basic cost of living expenses.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Being interviewed for a job I really wanted, but wasn't 100% qualified for. (The person they hired, however, was qualified.) It would have meant more money and lots of independent, project-based work.
Roller derby, grad school, art.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Definitely Far East Movement's 'Like a G6'. And DJ's Got Us Fallin' in Love by Usher. Both make me want to get up and shake my tail feathers. I was also really into Nicki Minaj. She's kind of nutty, and has an interesting, entertaining style. "Keys to the Benz, keys to the Benz..."

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? It's been such a yo-yo year, I don't even know how to answer this. I had things happening at both extremes of the scale...very good things and very bad things.
thinner or fatter? Much fatter. F early menopause.
richer or poorer? Much poorer, thus the three jobs trying to make ends meet.

18. What do you wish you had done more of?
Traveling. Leisure type things. Creative type things.

19. What do you wish you had done less of?
Work.

20. How will you be spending the holidays?
Unpacking my new apt. Xmas at my folk's house. Dinner at my Aunt's house.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
What is this thing you call love? No.

22. How many one night stands?
Zero.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Glee and Nature.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. Hate is too time consuming and spiritually draining. Keep it positive, ya'll.

25. What was the best book you read in 2010?
The Original of Laura by Vladimir Nabokov. Purely because it was a glimpse into his process as a writer. The hardback version is perforated so you can break it down into his notecards and rearrange them to your liking. The notecards were scanned and printed as is...so you get Nabokov's handwriting on top of everything else. Very cool, unfinished work by one of my favorite authors.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Balkan Beat Box. Blue Eyed Black Boy was my favorite CD to listen to on my way to work this year. Look Them Act would get me going when coffee alone wouldn't.

27. What did you want and get?
Grad school.

28. What did you want and not get?
That elusive Nobel Prize for Literature (ha ha). A better paying job. A quality of life raise from the main day job.

29. What was your favorite film this year?
Um, did I even see any movies this year? I know there were a bunch I wanted to see but missed (for example: Exit Through the Gift Shop) I don't think I had time to see any movies...let me check Wiki, brb.

Ok, out of all of the films released this year, and of the few I even got to see, Hot Tub Time Machine wins as my favorite movie this year. See, told you I didn't see any.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 42 and I worked. MD and I went to Nile Ethiopian for a delicious lunch and the girls at work got me (as requested) birthday pie instead of cake.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A vacation. Preferably out of country. Preferably Portugal or New Zealand.

32. What kept you sane?
My amazing BFFs, my pets, happy hours, and a sense of "home".

33. What celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Theo Theodoridis, Greek model. 'Nuff said.

34. What political issues stirred you the most?
Where does one begin? DADT. The extremely frightening hostage situation of our country's economy by the rich demanding they keep their Bush era tax breaks. Plutocracy much?

35. Who did you miss?
I thought of my Mother's Father a lot this year. He died of throat cancer when I was a child. I missed him a lot.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
I reconnected with a childhood friend, CH, on the FB machine. It's like meeting a new person as we're both adults now and it's so much different than being in 9th grade and trying to figure out which upperclassman is the cutest.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson learned in 2010.
"In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." ~Camus

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"There ain't no rest for the wicked
Money don't grow on trees
I got bills to pay
I got mouths to feed
Ain't nothing in this world for free
I know I can't slow down
I can't hold back
Though you know I wish I could
Oh there ain't no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good"
~Cage the Elephant

Tag yourself if you want.
Blogging has gone way of the 8 track tape and the rotary dial telephone...

Day 15,382: On People and FB...

2010-12-16T11:00:00.006-05:00

Today I finally figured out who defriended me on FB. It was a guy I worked with years ago. I always thought he was a cool and a very interesting person. I had been reading one of my Time Out NYs and saw him mentioned in a food article. Apparently he has turned into a Big Deal as a pasty chef up there. Searched him out, friended him. Badda boom badda bing.

I should have know something was up when he didn't respond to my "hey, how's life" email and then again on another "hey, you're a Big Deal chef in NYC, yay you" email. And then I was deleted about two months later.

It's pretty cool finding folks from your past who you're all like "omg, it's so cool to reconnect!" Case in point, a childhood friend with whom I would walk to the bus stop with in middle school. I loved her family. She had sisters and the most awesome Mom. Her grandmother would say hello and then show me her crochet. Hello was all she knew in english. Warmth and smiles transcend language though and I would always love seeing her. 30 some odd years later here C and I are reconnecting and getting to know each other as adults.

Funny how some people turn out to be cool adults, and others, well, I just wonder what made the other guy a jerk. Did something happen along his life path? Was it another situation where I thought they were cool with me this whole time when in reality they actually didn't like me at all? Perhaps he's paranoid now that he's a Big Deal and thinks I only want to be down with him because of that? I don't know. I'll never know. I just found it very disheartening.

It's an interesting world, FB. I'm waiting for a cultural anthropologist to do an ethnography about the culture of the Facebook world. You kind of learn people in a different, snippet of life, kind of way. Like finding out my cousin is a Libertarian. (I have a theory where Libertarians are anarchists that had to grow up and start paying bills...lol.) Last Xmas he hugged me and called me his bleeding heart liberal cousin. I've had another person blast me on FB regarding my shopping at a particular place. I've learned I know republicans. I've also found out that a few friends are gay. And there are some folks who I am just nuts about now that I get a daily glimpse into their daily lives (I would ask him out for coffee if he didn't live so far away). My second cousin is a total sweetheart. My brother's Vietnamese girlfriend keeps inviting me to Vietnamese groups when I have no idea how to speak Vietnamese. One of my hardcore, hard-nosed, nothing-can-phase his cool exterior, street savvy friend is a complete sucker for his little girls (I love it). I miss my x brother in law and his endlessly creative wife. They are such an awesome couple. Facebook is a weird microcosm. It surprises you, it titillates you, it occasionally disappoints you.

So here I am trying to rationalize the defriending. Perhaps it's a good thing he defriended me. That way his jerkatude is revealed early on and it's out of my life fairly quickly. It was still a defriending that stung a bit. Probably since it was a messed up friending from the get go. I mean really. Who doesn't respond to a friendly "hey, what's up" email?

A jerk. That's who.

Day 15,358: Walk it off...

2010-11-22T20:21:00.003-05:00

From Women's Health April 2008:

"Fit women who are overweight or obese are still better off than skinny couch potatoes. After tracking 2,603 subjects over 12 years, scientists found that you're 50 percent less likely to die if you're fit. Bonus: Size didn't matter. Regular exercise improves cholesterol levels and blood pressure and strengthens the heart -- all which can lengthen your lifespan, says study co-author Steven Blair, P.E.D. Get in 30 minutes of brisk walking five days per week. Source: The Journal of the American Medical Association."

Day 15,357: Butternut Sweet Potato Soup

2010-11-21T19:43:00.003-05:00

I visited my Mom's house the other day and left with a sweet potato and a butternut squash. When I went to South Africa last year I had an amazing soup made from butternut squash and sweet potatoes at a restaurant at the De Hoop Nature Reserve. So I thought I might try my hand at making something similar.

I found a suitable recipe on All Recipes to use as a guide. Butternut Squash - Sweet Potato Ginger Bisque. All Recipes my favorite site for finding recipes. I especially love the feature that lets you search for recipes by ingredient.

I do have to laugh sometimes at the ranking system/commentary for the recipes. Instead of commenting on the recipe as written, everyone seems to write how they modified it. Even the one I'm using as a guide has one person who ranked the recipe with 5 stars and then describes how she basically changed the entire recipe by adding an apple and other ingredients to the mix. People are too funny.

I don't rank the recipes I use and if I modify them I definitely don't write a thesis on it in the comments. That's why I have a blog. To subject you, Gentle Readers, to my modifications here.

I can tell you that I will be eliminating the ginger completely. Adding more garlic. Using only two sweet potatoes. Using only 4 cups (one container) of low sodium, organic veggie stock. Instead of adding yogurt at the end, I have some cream to stir in. And the piece de resistance is now being taken care of as I type. I'm oven roasting the squash, onions, garlic, and potatoes to give it more depth of flavor. My apartment smells so good right now.

You see, now it is a completely new recipe. There is no need to subject the readers of the ginger bisque recipe to my new recipe. And if it doesn't taste gross, I will type it up and put it in my recipe book to use again. If I need to share it, I will post it myself, here.

Now if you excuse me I must run. I have some roasted veggies to puree.

Day 15,347: Boys are hard.

2010-11-11T22:01:00.002-05:00

Tonight in my drawing class we had a male model. He was nekkid. My inner child had a really hard time tonight ACTING HER AGE. It seems that since it's been so long since I've seen a nekkid man, my inner child got all giggly on the inside.

Worse yet, the guy was an older guy with a nice body and um, uh, was blessed with um, *giggles* nice goodies.

There I said it. I was totally checking out the goodies. Are you happy? I had to though for the sake of art! We were studying muscles and he was doing action poses and so I had to look. I also had to draw the peen in a serious way and not in a 9th grade on the bathroom wall kinda way. It was hard! The drawing. Not his member.

That is all.

Day 15,345: OMG Kurt, You're Such a DB!

2010-11-09T22:47:00.002-05:00

Before tonight's episode of Glee the character of Kurt was becoming more and more of an unlikeable character.

After talking with other Gleeks about it, we came to the conclusion that in some ways it could be healthy to have a gay character be a complete dick. Not every gay man is a flamboyant trickster like Jack or a kind-hearted, looking for love guy like Will (Will & Grace). Or the cute couple on Modern Family. I personally know a few gay men that are total DB's. Why not have that represented on TV as well?

That being said, the writers really told a story and I've ventured away from thinking of the Kurt character as a complete wanker. Now I see him as just the victim of circumstances and a target of bullying at school. Way to work in important topics, Writers. Kudos to you!

***spoiler alert***

OMG I thought Kurt was going to get punched in the face by the bully...and then whammo! I totally didn't see that one coming and it had me talking to the indifferent pets. "OMG guys! Did you see that? The bully kissed Kurt! OMG he is closeted and hates himself! OMG!"

*crickets chirp* No wait. It's more like *pets snore*

Day 15,343: Don't argue, just fix it...

2010-11-07T10:28:00.003-05:00

Something happened yesterday at the CineBistro that annoyed me a bit.

When our beer was served I was handed a glass with a faded lipstick mark on it. I asked the server for another glass and she proceeded to tell me that it wasn't lipstick but dishwasher residue. Almost in an argumentative tone, but not quite there. Keep in mind that a) I know what frickin lipstick on a glass looks like and b) it's a new place and if they are having dishwasher difficulties now...

Anyway. My friends examine the glass and everyone agrees the glass appears to have lipstick residue on it. I ended up having to ask another server to bring me a clean glass.

My dining companion said she had been to another restaurant recently in which she asked the server to clean the table because it was dirty. The server assured her the table was clean. My friend then scraped her nail across the table and showed the result to the waitperson who then cleaned the table.

Another friend had a similar dirty knife story.

My question is this: When did restaurant customer service start being something you have to demand and prove and not the standard courtesy?

If someone has a request, your job as the waitperson is to just fix it. Not give anyone any lip about it or argue your point. It won't kill you to replace a "clean" glass with another, "re-wipe" a "clean" table, or replace a "clean" knife with another. I always tip generously and I have to be honest and say I am not as generous when I have to argue with a waitperson to just bring me another glass or whatever.

Who is training these people? Or should I say who is Not Training these people?

Day 15,306: Mary cries for you - Tales of the Complex

2010-09-30T22:00:00.002-04:00

This week's rain has meant another new Thing with my apartment. My walls are weeping. I came home to find my Cole Porter album (mounted on the wall behind glass because of the cool artwork) wet in one corner. After drying it carefully with my hairdryer I can see the corner is now permanently stained. Thanks slumlords for ruining something that I really love with your constant negligence of this property.

Water is coming in from the walls at unspecified points and going somewhere else at unspecified points. I ran my finger horizontally through the water lines and yes, they are active. Slowly reconnecting the line and continuing downward to nowhere. It is not pooling in my floor, so I don't know where it is going. I don't see any visible crack in my wall, just an appearance of a line about a foot from my ceiling and disappearing about a foot from my floor.

The wall is puckering and protruding in various spots. When I touch the wall it makes a faint crunching sound. They had all of the roofs redone in their "renovation" project, so I think the water is just seeping in from the bricks somehow.

I am pretty sure this means the black mold will be back. I cannot wait to move out of this place.

Right now I am thinking about when you hear of a Mary statue somewhere crying and how masses of people will come to see it. Only I don't have a Mary on my wall. Just a Cole Porter album and a poster from Bread & Puppet. Not anymore though. I have taken them down for the album to dry completely and the fragile B&P artwork to be safe from the dampness.

Does this mean I should make cookies for the hoards of American composer devotees and left leaning hippies when they show up on their pilgrimage to my weeping wall? I should get to baking then. 'Night.

Day 15,302: pup hijinks

2010-09-26T21:23:00.003-04:00

I was walking the dog today on a longer than typical walk. A two mile loop that passes by a few museums. It was early enough to see some of the sprinklers still on at one of the museums.

As background info, M has never really channeled his inner Labrador before. I've taken him to the river several times only to have him perfectly content with chewing a stick on the shore. The most water contact he gets is occasionally walking through a puddle of water in the rain.

So M drags me over to one of the sprinklers, tries to drink, then proceeds to roll in the grass right in front of the sprinkler. Then he suddenly shot up and dragged me to the next sprinkler to do the same thing. And then again. Three times and he was drenched!

I was laughing so hard. He really knows how to make me laugh sometimes. I swear I think he hams it up sometimes once he starts to hear me laughing aloud. If dogs can sense when you're sad, how can they not sense the total opposite? That's my little comedian.

Day 15,300: ATG, be good.

2010-09-24T20:42:00.006-04:00

I'm working on a project that will be over in a little over two weeks. On October 12 I can relax. Until then I will be up to my elbows in furiously learning something that has been my kryptonite since I was a small child.

Pretty convoluted, eh?

The point is I'm working on this Thing. For some reason this means that suddenly there are about 6,000 things I want or have been invited to do. I've been invited to Greek things, State Fair things, Festival of India things, movie things, girls night things, spa day things, shopping things, roller derby things and Free Museum Day things. Just lots of things. If you believe in the power of good and evil, it's like evil has rolled up its sleeves to try to distract me from my very important Thing with all this fun stuff going on with fun people all around me.

Bull riding. I've been invited to go watch bull riding. Cowboys in cowboy gear with something pulsing and bucking in between their legs. Riding on top of bulls no less! *giggles* How fun could that be? I've never been to any type of rodeo thing before and you know how much I love doing new things. Ugh, the temptation!

Anyway. I am hugely proud of myself. I've been steadfast. I've been the most dedicated that I've ever been to anything in my entire life. The cool thing is realizing how limitless this makes me. If I can dedicate myself to this annoying pain in my rear, I can pretty much apply myself to anything. It's been frustrating, yes, but I'm feeling very much empowered by it all.

Day 15,283: Down by the tracks...

2010-09-06T19:42:00.003-04:00

Remember my new crazy upstairs neighbor I was talking about the other day? Well, now in addition to the late night electric broom usage she has been going crazy with the garbage disposal. She uses it all. The. Time.

I saw her outside the other day and thought her arms looked pretty um, tracked up. I could be totally wrong as I'm going blind in my old age, but I daresay I saw a lot of fresh holes in her arms. What does this mean? Is she a heroin addict? Let's play nice and just say she has The Diabetes, shall we?

Although every time she uses the garbage disposal (at least once every hour), I'm thinking she is up there very slowly getting rid of a body...

Day 15,282: Best Cafe

2010-09-05T19:11:00.002-04:00

Today for the Artist's Way Coffee Klatch, we ventured over to the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts for a day of perusing art after a bite to eat at the Best Cafe.

I had the crab quiche which was served with fruit salad on a bed of lettuce and a piece of bread. They had a variety of drinks and I opted for a Pellegrino Limonata. A typical choice for a Package Ho like myself. I cannot resist the little foil cover on the can. Sad, but true.

Anyway, the servings were ample. The square of quiche was large and tall. I was especially pleased the crust was homemade and that I found a small piece of crab shell. Some folks freak out when they find things like that, but not me. To me it's an indication that you're getting minimally processed food. I get the same satisfaction from finding a wee oat husk in my morning bowl of oats and blueberries.

The quiche was tasty although I thought it may need another flavor in there to give it a bit of zing. If I were making it at home, I would opt for tossing in a bit of onion the next time I made it. The fruit salad was your typical blend. I appreciated the pineapple not being from a can. (See minimally processed food in the previous paragraph.) The bread was a disaster though. Way too hard. It reminded me of day old pizza crust.

The cafe itself is done in a minimalist style. Stone floors, simple wood and metal chairs, a wall of windows to overlook the reflection pond and the sculpture yard. I liked that my food was served on clear glass dishes and they gave me a glass for my drink. They did have paper napkins, but I was just pleased with the other glassware that I wouldn't expect from the "casual dining" option of the two restaurants in the museum. They have folks there to pick up after you when you're done eating which I thought was a nice elegant touch.

We ate outside on the patio which over looks a small water feature and some really cool sculptures in the yard. My only beef was with the doors. You have a tray, meaning your hands are full, and you're headed outdoors. Which way do you expect the doors to open? Out, right? Well they installed doors that you need to pull. It wasn't just me who struggled. We watched time and time again as people tried pushing the doors only to have to try to balance their trays as they pull the door.

The VMFA really needs to fix this. If I were king, I would tell them to install the doors that swing both ways. At a minimum they need to fix them so they swing out toward the outside. (Yes, I will be penning a note to them. How do you know me so well?)

Regardless, I thought the meal was good and reasonably priced. My entree was $8.00 and I was quite satisfied. I also got to taste the fruit and cheese plate my dining companion purchased. Again, real pineapple, with a nice variety of different cheeses and fruit. Including a really nice Havarti veined with green herbs. Another ample serving of food, although I cannot tell you how much it was.

If you're visiting the museum, I would say that the Best Cafe is a nice place to grab a quick meal. Would I call it a destination place, maybe not. After all you are quite close to Carytown and you have tons of options for dining.

Best Cafe
200 N Blvd, inside the VMFA

Day 15,281: Houston, we have a problem...

2010-09-04T18:59:00.003-04:00

Now that Children of the Corn Stalker Guy knows my dog's name, he talks to my dog, in a baby voice, every time he sees me walking him. I know he isn't spending all hours of the day just hanging around the apartments outside. I sincerely do believe he looks out of his window and searches for my car.

This is creepy and gross. Nobody wants a toothless 300 lb Latino man chewing his cud and baby talking their dog as they walk. Nobody. (And if you do, please leave me your address so I can send him your way. It's no problem, really.)

Worse yet, today I was in my apartment studying and I suddenly hear him below my open window calling my dog to the window. I kid you not. Hey wait, maybe he isn't stalking me at all. Maybe he is stalking my dog! Ewwwwwww! No dog wants a toothless 300 lb Latino man chewing his cud and baby talking him through an open window!

I think I'm either going to start parking in the lot or farther up the street away from his street view apartment and prying eyes. I can also start walking the dog irregularly so he won't have a clue what time to be outside stalking. I'm rather ticked that I have to alter my life just to avoid CotC guy. Why can't my dog be a little more obedient and growl and bark on command? Please, puppy, help me out here. The things women have to deal with, eh?

Day 15,264: The Lost Colony

2010-08-18T06:01:00.004-04:00

Eleanor White and Ananias Dare were married in London and joined the Roanoke Expedition to travel to the new world and settle in North Cackalacky. On August 18, 1587 they gave birth to a child they named Virginia. Virginia was designated as being the first child born in America. This, of course, doesn't take in consideration children born to Native Americans during earlier expeditions. Nor does it take into account there may have been other colonies of other people in Florida making "New World" babies.

Regardless, the point is that Virginia Dare is one of America's first anchor babies.

Happy 423rd birthday, Virginia.

Day 15,254: What about, what about, BAT?

2010-08-08T08:49:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I went with the Lovely and Talented L to the newly renovated Virginia Museum of Fine Arts to see a special screening of Breakfast at Tiffany's. You have to love free classic movies on a big screen.

I think the most interesting part was the pre-movie talk. I wish I could tell you who spoke or all of the things he addressed, but I can't. The part that stood out for me addressed the cringe worthy performance of Mickey Rooney as Mr. Yunioshi. Oh, how I would love a copy of this movie with his part completely edited out to relieve some of my white liberal p.c. kumbayah consciousness.

The speaker explained that Rooney's acting background was in silent movies. In order to get your point across without sound, one needed to act big and over the top. In addition Rooney was one of the hottest actors of the time. That's why, he explained, you have this one character in the movie that doesn't quite fit in with the overall feel of the rest of the movie.

And with that, I watched the movie from a different perspective this time. More of a movie historian point of view. And I must admit I didn't cringe as much.

I just love Holly Golighty's outfits in the movie. My favorites being the black hat and the orange coat. I could do the black hat, but my zaftig curves would make the orange coat look a bit like a potato sack. The Lovely L however, who also loves the orange coat, would look great in it. Lucky gal.

After the movie we spent quite a while wandering around the museum then went to grab some potato salad, with a side of sandwich at Garnett's. Lovely day, indeed.

Day 15,251: Of Bras and Women

2010-08-05T20:20:00.004-04:00

One of The most annoying shopping trips a girl has to make is the bra shopping trip. Nothing like standing in a dressing room with a dozen of various sizes and styles putting one on, adjusting the straps, adjusting the girls, and then putting your shirt back on to see what it does for the silhouette. Then you take your shirt back off, wrench around to unhook the unfamiliar thing, put it back on its specialty hanger, and then start all over again with the next one. Wash, rinse, and repeat until you find something tolerable.

The problem is the same as most other garments in the clothing industry and that is inconsistency between manufacturers. Did you know that the band size (boys, that is the number) on several different bras can all read 38, but have an actual difference between 1 to 5 inches of material? Some manufacturers measure from the first hook, some from the last, some have taken hints from the denim industry and created vanity sizing. The 32 inch girl will feel awesome about having to buy a 38.

I know you're thinking of the sage advice about being sized in the store. I read a study in which the researchers found that salespeople were measuring just as incorrectly as folks at home. (I can't find the link!) And where you measure that is just as inconsistent. Some folks measure above the girls, some below. And then the cup size can be a mystery as well. Did you know the same size underwire is used across several sizes of bras? Plus there is the problem of nobody having perfect girls. Most women have one overachiever and one underachiever. Which boob do you fit for? As a woman gets older or after childbirth she can develop breast ptosis, throwing off the traditional cup size measurement as well.

As an experiment I took my measurements and visited 15 different websites with bra size calculators and plugged in the numbers. Know what happened? I got back 8 different bra sizes: 40H, 40G, 42DD, 42DDD, 42E, 42F, 44D, and 44H. How crazy is that?

The best advice I found out there for bra sizing is to use the results as a starting point, then find something that is comfortable and supportive by trial and error. The part between the girls is supposed to lay flat against you. The band should be horizontal to the ground. The first hook should be the best fit in a new bra. As it wears you then move to the other hooks. There shouldn't be any gaps and the cup shouldn't wrinkle.

Good luck and I hope you have way more patience that I do.

Day 15,247: Road Trip!

2010-08-01T12:35:00.003-04:00

I decided to take a little staycation trip up to Maryland yesterday to visit the American Visionary Art Museum to satisfy my week Artist's Date requirement. Cameron suggests with this week's reading deprivation (pure torture under my personal version of the Geneva Convention) the artist's date be a little longer. What's longer than hopping in the car and driving to another state for the day to visit a museum you've been dying to visit but cannot seem to convince anyone to go with you? Not much, my friend, not much.

Here are my thoughts on the museum:

1. One of the best museums I've ever been to. Definitely in my top five. And very inspirational as the mission statement of the museum is to showcase artists that have not been formally taught art. Awesome for someone like myself who hasn't had a lick of training in art.

2. The outside is done in a blue and mirror mosaic. It's a beautiful building.

3. The spiral stairs freaked me out a bit. Something about seeing the open space under each stair was making my feet do that funny thing one does when they catch themselves before falling. And I had a death grip on the handrail. I have no idea what that was about as I have never experienced it before. I blame the soda I had with lunch filled with the chemical I'm sensitive to: caffeine.

4. I took plenty of notes on artists to Google later only to find they are mostly obscure and most Google searches were rendered useless. With the exception of New York n'existe pas by Jean-Pierre Nadau. Very cool work that made me think of OCDs.

5. Bonus points for the exhibition of automata by the Cabaret Mechanical Theatre. During my short time living in London, I would spend a lot of time in Covent Garden at their museum there. I was completely fascinated by it all and was sorry to hear the museum closed after I left England. I was literally smiling and laughing like a kid as I pressed each and every button to make the machines go. Yeah, I was that girl. But by golly, I was so freaking happy to see them and play with them.

6. I was a bit upset the attached store to the museum didn't have any postcards of any of the artist's works. I was really looking forward to finding a few to send to friends with my favorite pieces on them. It is because a lot of these folks are obscure, untrained artists? Make some postcards, people. Especially of the works in your permanent collection. I am a consumer and I want to buy stuff like that. Thanks.

7. I bought Japanese pocky erasers instead. Such a sucker for packaging. Total package whore. And I bought a Japanese sushi eraser for M, and some violet gum, to thank her for making this trip possible. I would thank Julia Cameron, but I'm still upset about the whole reading deprivation thing.

8. I will be going again. And if I lived in Baltimore I would actually take the plunge and buy a membership so I could go more often.

American Visionary Art Museum
800 Key Highway
Baltimore, MD
410.244.1900

Day 15,246: Johnny Boy's Ribs

2010-07-31T23:08:00.006-04:00

When I head up north, I typically take Route 301. It's a far more lovely drive than taking 95 North and I can skip the annoying mystery traffic that happens around Fredericksburg and DC. Mystery as in why am I in a traffic jam when there is no accident, construction, nor anything else that would typically turn an interstate into a parking lot.

One of my favorite spots to hit along the way is a small little roadside building made of concrete in La Plata Maryland that serves some delicious bbq by the name of Johnny Boy's Ribs. You know how much Mama loves her bbq. And if you have made that journey with me, I have purposely steered you away from the fast food joints and into Johnny's parking lot.

This time I'm traveling with only a card. They have a new sign with a credit card minimum purchase amount of $10. In Virginia I know it's illegal to have minimum purchase requirements on cards. You either take plastic or you don't. I don't know about Maryland. Instead of ordering my typical minced pork sandwich with fries, I'm somewhat forced to order a pricier meal. I opt for the baby back rib platter ($16.50) that comes with two sides and a roll.

The ribs were a bit on the greasy side, but really really good. Get more napkins on your way to the picnic tables. And Mama Sophie's bbq...you also need to get a heapin' of that on your plate as well.

The sides. People. How many times do we need to go over this? When you are a wee restaurant, I am coming to you to avoid frozen and canned stuff found at chains and fast food places. Please do not serve me greens from a can. Chopped up canned greens are an insult to good bbq. And where is your vinegar? I know Maryland is farther north than Virginia, but it's not that much farther. If you are going to serve me some whack canned greens that I would eat at home when I'm too lazy to make greens, you need to have some vinegar I can dump on those things. If I'm paying $16.50 for a plate of food, don't serve me some canned pork and beans as a side. Even if you do doctor it up with a small bit of bacon. If you were charging me $7.50 for this plate, I wouldn't be so cranky about it. But I can buy canned greens and canned beans from the store for $1.50. That means you're charging me $15 for ribs. And they were good, but they won't all that. Maybe a little less than $15 because of the roll.

So ends another relationship with a roadside joint I used to call my own. Goodbye Johnny Boy...it was nice knowing you.

Wait, what am I saying? You know I won't leave ya, Johnny Boy! I'll just bring cash and get my pork sandwich next time. You do good pork, doncha Johnny Boy? It'll be like the old days, won't it Johnny Boy? You'll see. Don't cry Johnny Boy. We'll make this work. See you soon, Johnny Boy, see you soon.

Johnny Boy's Ribs
7540 Crain Highway
La Plata, MD
301.870.2526

Day 15,244: I need House, STAT!

2010-07-29T23:46:00.003-04:00

At the end of May something happened to me. I started waking up in the middle of the night with back pain. Not upper back pain. Not lower back pain. Middle back pain.

I ventured to my local Patient First where the doctor treated me like I was some painkiller junkie looking for a fix. He had a look of shock on his face when I refused the scrip. At another point he shrugged his shoulders when I gave him a random symptom. He was completely uninterested in helping me to the point where I finally looked at him and said "You know, I'm going to get dressed and leave now...so you can either stand there and watch or leave." I was ticked off and won't be going back to that Patient First no matter how close they are to my nabe. His "diagnosis" musculoskeletal pain; their default diagnosis when they can't figure anything out. If you come in with a gunshot wound to the arm, you will get a musculoskeletal pain diagnosis from them. I'm just sayin'.

Fast forward through more sleepless nights. Well they aren't completely sleepless. I sleep well until the hours of 2am to 5am. Then I'm uncomfortable, in pain, and awake. Anyway, I leave work early on Monday to bum-rush my GPs office who is apparently so freaking popular there is a 3 week wait to make an appointment. My initiative is futile as they pawn me off on his new office mate.

That doctor takes a brief look at me, hears my symptoms and says I have osteoporosis. My jaw drops. I've never had a broken bone. I've been eating tums as a calcium supplement for at least ten years now. I do weight bearing exercises at the gym. And that's what he comes up with? Really? Really! Oh, the other idea he has is that I was born with an extra rib and it is now causing me problems as an adult. I think dude was high.

Next thing you know I'm taking MORE x-rays blah blah blah. Fast forward to today. Nurse calls me to say I don't have osteoporosis and my x-rays look great. "If you have any questions please give us a call."

So I call her back. "Yes, I have a question. WHY IS MY BACK HURTING?" Ugh. What do I have to do to get someone to investigate this? Do I need to Craigslist a doctor who actually wants to help a sista out? I mean, I am paying some co-payments and my insurance company is paying these guys...how about we actually do some work, fellas? Osteoporosis my ass.

Day 15,239: RCR Double Header

2010-07-24T23:57:00.001-04:00

Roller derby night with M and her sis S!

M and I decided that we need a little microphone to record our own running commentary because we entertain ourselves so much that we just, you know, want to share that lunacy with the world. Everything from ooo'ing and ahhh'ing over the lovely skating styles of the Charlottesville Derby Dames to the "mean girl" on the Long Island Roller Rebels teams to cute outfit commentary to cheering on the Poe's Punishers to a win to what are the other commentators actually talking about?

I've become a "sports" person. WFTDA is my NFL.

Day 15,226: Of Beer and Archaeology

2010-07-18T18:50:00.000-04:00

I heard the best story yesterday on NPR about beer. Dogfish brewery has been working with a biomolecular archaeologist who studies fermented beverages found in pottery at archaeology sites. The guy figures out what is in the old pot, then Dogfish recreates the beer for modern drinkers.

How cool is that? It appeals to me not only for the creative microbrew beer aspect, but from the anthropology aspect as well. I was pleased to hear that one of my all time favorite, yet rarely purchased due to the cost, beers was created by Dogfish in the same manner. Midas Touch was created by these guys with the research into clay pots found in King Midas' 2,700 year old tomb.

All this to say that I'm very interested in tasting their new beer: Chateau Jiahu. Created from research into a Neolithic pottery at a burial site. It has a hefty price tag of $13 for a bottle, but I think the anthropologist in me has an itching to try it. You know, for scientific research purposes and all.

**update** It appears there is another ancient-like beer they make that I can try now and not have to wait: Theobroma. I'm off to my specialty beer store!

Day 15,214: The Artist's Way

2010-07-06T19:00:00.003-04:00

Last week I attended a meeting of a group that M created. We are all women with different creative things going on. She thought we could spark a little creativity by working through the book The Artist's Way.

It was an interesting group of women and we all went over what we hoped to get out of the group. Me, in my occasionally typical way, hemmed and hawed over my answer. "You know, man, I've never tried anything like this before, so I'm just going to go with the flow and see what inspires me. But I'm open to the process and I'm excited to see what happens."

Basically that translates to "I didn't read the introduction yet and I'm have no effing idea what the hell I'm talking about." Let's keep it real, shall we?

We work through the twelve week book together. M sends us (who can't afford the luxury of store bought books these days) the chapter for the week. We read it and work through the exercises in the book. Every morning as soon as we wake up we do 3 handwritten pages of free association writing called the Morning Pages. Fancy talk for journaling before coffee.

Once a week you take yourself and only yourself out on an Artist's Date, you know, with yourself. It can be pretty much anything, but you are basically just spoiling your inner artist with something that may or may not inspire you to be creative in whatever mode of creativity you work in. It reminds me a lot of what my post-divorce shrink would call reparenting, in which you spoil your inner child. Or what Freud would call spoiling your id. I personally call it Me Time. And I'm thrilled to take Me Time any way I can.

After all, there is no one I love spending time with more than myself doing exactly what I want to do when I want to do it. See, my inner artist slash inner child slash id (or do I mean the ego?) is already incorrigible. Must we encourage this?

I digress, Gentle Readers. We ladies then meet once a week to do some secret stuff that only M knows since she has the teacher's guide. And we do a group outing of some sort. I'm going to devote myself to the process and see what happens. Maybe I'll create something, you know, creative like. M's idea is for us to have a group show at the end. That would be my second art show this year. Crazy direction my life is headed down. Crazy in that it is completely unexpected. If you would have told me in January I would be in a gallery show and maybe another, I would have cut you off from the champagne and sent you to bed with no ball dropping. Ball dropping. Heh heh. And on that note, I'm outta here!

Day 15,209: The Old Rosetta Stone Bait & Switch

2010-06-26T18:37:00.006-04:00

I heard a commercial on the radio today for a free demo cd from Rosetta Stone. I was really stoked about it because I had been curious about their products, but not enough to drop $250 on level 1 to see how well the program worked.

So I called. The guy asked me what language I was interested in learning and I said French. I figured he needed to know which demo cd to send. Then he started grilling me about why I would want to learn French. Then asked me if I considered myself serious about it or if I wanted to learn for fun.

Then in a classic bait & switch move (a seller will advertise to you with one product only to purposely direct you to a more expensive one) he told me French wasn't available on the demo cd. Really? Seriously? I find it hard to believe that their demo cd doesn't contain French which I'm sure is running a close second to learning Spanish in our country. I mean in high schools and colleges everywhere you can pretty much count on Spanish, French, Latin, and German as being your language options.

He then starts the high pressure sales of trying to get me to buy the $600 kit which has like levels one through whatever for three easy payments of whatever. I said firmly that I was not interested in dropping $600 on something without a demonstration of how the program worked. Which of course would be easily ascertained by sending me the ghaddamned free demo that was advertised! So the guy says French isn't available on the free demo, says "have a good evening", and HANGS UP ON ME!

I'm so angry about a) bait & switch tactics being used by a company I previously perceived as being reputable, and b) that mofo hung up on me when I wouldn't buy a $600 language learning system that I had no idea whether or not it would work for me.

At this point, I wouldn't buy a Rosetta Stone product if they were the last language learning system on earth. I would rather go and learn in the immersion method. Just drop me in Quebec, see how well I do. Bitches.

Day 15,204: In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan

2010-06-21T21:56:00.003-04:00

I'm a bit obsessed with food. Over the years I have watched documentary films on our food supply from Super Size Me to a recent gross out viewing of Food, Inc. I've also read the gamut of food gross out books from Upton Sinclair's Jungle to Fast Food Nation to just finishing up Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food.

With all of this information my conclusion is: OMG our food supply is so f***ed!

It all seems to come down to money and the bottom line. How can we feed the masses for the least amount and the largest profit margin? It's not surprising how many food related illnesses (obesity, Type II diabetes) show up in developed countries, what is surprising is that we somehow manage to survive, albeit poorly, on the crap they market us. And I do mean crap. If you are what you eat, Americans are basically corn and petroleum.

While I appreciate and participate in the BP boycott, what people don't seem to realize is how much petroleum and oil feeds into every aspect of our lives, including our food supply. But that is a topic for another day.

What is the answer to the problem of the disgusting way food animals in the USA are raised? What is the answer to unraveling all of the renamed corn products from our food supply? I don't have the answers to give you, but Michael Pollan does take a stab at it in his book: Eat Food. Not too Much. Mostly Plants.

Simplified advice elaborated on in this eye-opening book. I probably should have read his other book The Omnivore's Dilemma first, but hey, I check stuff out at the library and I borrow what I can get.

I would definitely suggest this book. It's going to gross you out. Maybe make the average person avoid hamburgers for a tiny bit. But you need to know where your food comes from. And I don't mean that hermetically sealed plastic tray of ready to cook beef you bought on sale at Wal-Mart. I mean before that. When your ruminant animal was force fed corn and antibiotics while standing knee deep in his own manure and slaughtered before it got "too sick". That, is the history you need to know.

Read / ~~skim~~ / ~~skip~~

Day 15,202: Good food, where?

2010-06-19T19:16:00.003-04:00

I had to drive to Maryland and back yesterday for work. My partner and I tried a little restaurant located on Route 301 and Water Street in Port Royal, Virginia. It overlooked the Rappahannock River and looks like a biker bar from the outside.

We both ordered the lunch special which was fried catfish with hush puppies. One of my favorite things is to stumble across a little hole in the wall with excellent food. Let's just say they make their hush puppies from scratch. They were so good.

Not only was the view of the river amazing, but the muscle bound shirtless guy fishing on the pier was, just, beautiful. Beautiful, man. *sigh*

I wish I could give you the name of the place, but I can't remember what it was. Bubba's? BJ's? Biker Bar? I think it was a B something. I tried Googling, but apparently it's such a tiny hole in the wall that they haven't heard of this wonderful thing called the internet yet.

All I know is that when I make that trip again, I'll find out the name for you because I plan on stopping and getting some more of those hush puppies and more of that yummy catfish.

Day 15,201: Renovation?

2010-06-18T18:49:00.003-04:00

My slumlords invaded my apartment today to "renovate" the bathroom and kitchen. I could just complain to my heart's content about their typical lack of proper notice. Or complain about how they couldn't wait for me to move out, but are renovating as I live here. Or I can just share the most perplexing part of this so-called "renovation".

When I think of renovation, I think of restoring something raggedy back to a newer condition. So why did they completely replace all of my nice older things with the cheapest stuff they could find from the clearance rack of your local Lowes?

For example, I had a lovely metal medicine cabinet with a curved top, etched flowery detail on the mirror and glass shelves. Beautiful condition and in great working order. I came home to find a plain cheap plastic stationary plastic shelved mirror in it's place. The door won't open all the way, or at least I'm scared to open it all the way as it appears as though the plastic will snap at any moment. It's so shallow I had to find new homes for most of my stuff. And the mirror is outlined in a cheap metal frame (think of gold framed pictures that are sold by the road out of someone's van) that appears to be just slightly thicker than aluminum foil.

Don't even get me started on the new toilet. Specifically the seat and lid made of the cheapest, thinnest plastic that is somehow statically charged and attracting all the pet hair to it. I'm sure guests will be pleased to feel the coolness of the porcelain bowl through the seat while thinking of what a horrible housekeeper I must be to have so much pet hair on the lid.

How is this renovation?

Day 15,185: On Oil and Sinkholes

2010-06-02T08:50:00.002-04:00

This morning something hit me that I can't stop thinking about. I'll lay down the thought processes here and encourage debate on the topic.

Hypothesis: The major special-effect looking sinkhole in Guatemala City happened because of the oil spill in the gulf.

The thought process:

- According to Googlemaps, Guatemala City (GC)lies south and very slightly west of the location of the oil spill.

- Measuring the distance on Googlemaps, GC is approximately 1,000 miles south of the oil spill.

- Current estimates of the oil spill put them at losing 500,000–4,200,000 US gallons a day. (This is an estimate due to BP brazenly not allowing outside scientists to measure it...who died and let BP run this operation without supervision? Another post another day.)

- Oil is located under sedimentary rock.

- When the tectonic plates move, oil moves with it.

- GC is located near the border of the Caribbean Plate and the Cocos Plate. This is a transform boundary where the plates slide past each other.

- I think by losing that much oil a day it is causing instability in the sedimentary layers of the earth by the sudden pockets of emptiness or sea water. This is causing the Caribbean Plate to adjust itself. In turn when it slides next to the Cocos Plate causes instability in the land there thereby causing the sinkhole to appear.

**Yes, I know sinkholes are typically caused by rain gradually eating at the porous rock and weakening it. I also know they are blaming this on TS Agatha.**

Day 15,183: Garnett's Cafe, A Great Good Place

2010-05-31T18:18:00.001-04:00

Today my friend L and I decided to meet up for lunch. After much deliberation we decided on the place I kept calling Garrett's. Once I figured out the name was really Garnett's, L knew exactly where I was talking about. Both of us agreed to try something new and give it a spin. Plus I have been going to Kendra Feather's other venture, Ipanema, for years and I was excited to see what she had cooked up. (Oh, how I love a pun!)

The tiny shop is painted a pale yellow and there are lots of little pictures on the wall. A lovely old cabinet (pie chest perhaps?) sits in the corner in front of the cook's area. An old school lunch counter with seats takes up half the space and little two seater tables take up the rest. Jars filled with bread and butter pickles sit on top of the old barstand. Glass domes perch atop fresh baked sweets. I loved the interior. It reminded me of my Grandma's in its simplicity and old school charm. Or is it just because Garnett's, Grandma, Garnett's, Grandma? Who knows? I just thought it was a really cute place.

I ordered the Grilled Cheese on wheat ($5.95) with a side of their French potato salad. I am not a professional food critic, so I completely forgot what L ate. My bad. She occasionally reads this blog, so check the comments, she may chime in. Anyway, the grilled cheese arrived and the combo of gouda and gruyere cheeses were absolutely delish. The French potato salad was vinegary good. I could order a vat of it and sit in front of the TV for the night.

We opted for dessert. We should have shared. We both got a (large) slice of what they told us was a mixed berry pie ($4.00). I say what they told us only because we both suspected rhubarb in the pie...which was totally fine, just rhubarb isn't a berry. Isn't it related to celery? Anyway, generous tasty portion of pie, just too much. The good thing is that I get to have pie tomorrow after dinner.

The staff was super nice and attentive. It is a really small place and if you're looking to have a personal conversation, I would choose someplace else. I do believe the cute boy seated at the lunch counter was totally listening to our conversation. Good thing we saved our dating woes conversation for later in the day. Overall we both enjoyed Garnett's and it was exactly what we were looking for: a good inexpensive place to get a really good sandwich.

Garnett's Cafe
2001 Park Ave
(804) 367-7909

Day 15,182: Stops Wetness

2010-05-30T09:10:00.002-04:00

Another attempt by BP to stop the oil leak has failed. Man is so good at messing the world up. If I were independently wealthy I would go down there to help wash up wildlife. Pelicans, man. Just got off the federal endangered species list and it's their breeding season and everything. Pelicans.

If I think about things like this too long it sends my thoughts spiraling out of control until I wind up in the fetal position on the couch nursing a beer and watching the idiot box.

Laughter is the only solution I have right now. Besides the obvious boycott of BP and letter writing to discourage offshore drilling and encourage seeking alternate energy sources.

So here you go. Some silly ways to consider plugging the oil spill.

1. (This was posted by another pal on the Facebook machine.) Shove a bunch of books by Ayn Rand in there. She promoted selfishness as a virtue. Sounds like a good place to put them.

2. Tampax, Super Absorbency. Giant tampon. They claim to never leak, let's put them to the test.

3. Stop leak. It works for radiator leaks on old ass cars, it might work on a hole in the ground.

4. Fix a flat. It will work long enough ~~to barely get your car to the tire place~~ for them to figure out a more permanent solution.

5. Gorilla glue. As long as they don't get it on their hands this stuff will adhere anything to anything.

6. Duct tape. Duct tape fixes everything. Giant duct tape might just work.

7. Wall patch kit. The kind with the metal screen in it.

8. Congress. Tell the Repubs the Dems are trying to push the oil leak through and vice versa. They will stop it just to support their own partisanship.

9. Ball gag. It stops your naughty little masochist from alerting your neighbors to your dungeon in the closet, it should stop the leak. With the exception of a little drool escaping from the sides.

10. Media gag order. It stops the dissemination of information to the masses effectively, why not let it stop a spill?

And that's all I got for you on a humid Sunday morning.

Day 15,178: Making Honey

2010-05-26T19:35:00.002-04:00

Sorry to be a bit absentee lately.
I've been a tad busy.
I have 3 jobs and my volunteer stuff.
I do however, have lots of useless stuff to blog about.

I know you will be waiting with bated breath.
All three of you.

Day 15,138: Old Persian Poem

2010-04-16T07:06:00.001-04:00

When of thy worldly goods
Thou find thyself bereft,
And from the goodly store
Two loaves alone are left.
Sell one, and with the dole
Buy hyacinths to feed the soul.

Day 15,125: Drawings gone wrong.

2010-04-03T16:59:00.005-04:00

My Mom saves coupons for me out of the Sunday paper. When I go through them I always come across ads that are directed towards the elderly for all kinds of life changing products. It's the drawings that go along with them that crack me up. Take a look (click to enlarge):

Stop! Hammertime!

I don't even know what's up with Grandma in this picture. Foot pain? Migraine? Alzheimer's? (You left the cake ingredients on the floor in your mixing bowl, Nana.) Or does Granny have a hangover from the cooking sherry?

I like how your knee just sparkles like a diamond after buying their product.

Nana's facial expressions are priceless. The "without" picture has a sense of urgency about it. Like it's time for a new Depends.

Look at all the awesome things you can do in this knee brace. It only fixes your knee and not the odd disproportions of your body. Whether you're out marching with Grandma, bouncing a baby on your good leg while your fake one turns inward, going up stairs with double jointed thighs that you miraculously wound around the baluster, or getting out the car with a disjointed hip and a short broken leg.

I think if your toe looks like this you should seek medical assistance immediately as it appears you have broken it.

Day 15,124: Food Revolution

2010-04-02T23:50:00.003-04:00

Jamie Oliver's second episode of Food Revolution was just as sad as the first.

1. That poor teenage girl who said her doctor saw spots on her liver and predicted she may die in 5 to 7 years.

2. French fries count as a vegetable in West Virginia schools. Perhaps it once was a vegetable, but now it's just a deep fried stick of salt and empty calories.

Day 15,123: A Big Decision/Announcement

2010-04-01T21:54:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking the Tea Party isn't so bad. Especially after listening to Sarah Palin. I think I'm going to attend their next meeting and catch a vibe and see how it goes. After all the government has gone to hell in a hand-basket and we need to do something about it.

I think they will like me a lot because I spell really well and I can hook up those protest signs.

Day 15,120: Say what?

2010-03-29T16:32:00.006-04:00

I bought a box of Ritz Crackerfuls to try. (Garlic herb. Moderately tasty but the one large cracker breaks easily when you take a bite. Probably won't buy again.) Anyway, I was having a package as a snack today and I read the package. I did a double take when I saw this (click to enlarge):

Natural Flavors with Other Natural Flavors? What exactly does that mean? I know one thing, it probably means there is nothing natural about either of the natural flavors...

Day 15,119: dinner for one

2010-03-28T20:20:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I made a vegetable lasagna. They had directions on the regular box of pasta for a no bake option. I was ~~lazy~~ curious so I gave it a try. In a flash of inspiration I put all raw veggies in mix instead of cooking them first. I figured since it would be in the oven for an hour, they would have plenty of time to cook. I also used all low fat cheeses to save some calories.

It worked and it came out really well. Now I don't have to cook when I get home in the evenings this week. Just make a little tossed salad to go with and viola! Done. Yay for ~~laziness~~ planning ahead!

Day 15,116: On Color

2010-03-25T21:51:00.002-04:00

Last night I noticed they kept showing a Sharp commercial about their new TV with some Quattron pixel technology. (Sidebar: I find it funny how manufacturers just make up words to describe their products...see beauty products and shampoo with new revolutionary Made Up Word technology...Quattron, ha!)

The gist of the commercial is they have added yellow into the typical RGB (red, green, blue) format of television color making the color you know, better or whatever.

I couldn't help but think, every single time it came on, and it came on in every commercial break, that yellow and blue make green. So technically yellow is already in there just in a smaller proportion. Green is a secondary color, yellow and blue are primary colors. Basic elementary school technology. How can you add yellow when it's already in there in the green?

Maybe someone should tell them?

Day 15,111: Is You Looking At Me?

2010-03-20T20:33:00.003-04:00

Today as I was walking the dog I looked down and noticed an empty bottle of Muscle Milk lying on the ground. According to their website "Muscle Milk® Ready-to-Drink is a protein-enhanced functional beverage that promotes exercise recovery, lean muscle growth, and healthy, sustained energy. Muscle Milk takes the guesswork out of high performance nutrition, delivering a precise blend of premium proteins, complex carbohydrates, functional fats, vitamins & minerals."

It had several holes in the bottle where something tiny had chewed holes in it. I couldn't help but speed up because the last thing the dog and I need is to see a literal gym mouse, gym squirrel, or gym rat who was all pumped up and looking for a fight.

Day 15,110: Little, orange, tasty...

2010-03-19T18:27:00.003-04:00

My little calendar says today is St Joseph's Day. A religious holiday that celebrates Mary's baby's daddy.

When I first saw it, prior to using The Google, I could not help to think it was a day honoring those little pink/orange chewables we ate like candy as a child.

Oh come on, don't act like I'm the only one who thought those chalky little pills were good. You know you liked to eat them too. Admit it!

Day 15,105: Cut and Paste

2010-03-14T23:29:00.003-04:00

Today I spent all day working on a collaborative art project with my friend M. Two photo series I did + glue + paint + tidbits of beautiful epherma + mashed cauliflower + une baguette avec beurre (best butter I've had since I was a kid, yay cultures!) + laughter + kvetching + medium gloss varnish....lots of medium gloss varnish. Cannot get enough of the medium gloss varnish. Can't think of what to buy me as a pressie? Might I suggest medium gloss varnish.

Ahem.

I am so happy that I'm doing stuff of the artistical nature again. It's been years and years since I've even remotely felt creative in that way. The arty Phoenix rises again? Like a bad cliche, I think so.

Day 15,102: Danger, Danger Will Robinson

2010-03-11T23:49:00.003-05:00

After ANTM a new show came on called High Society.

WTF is this train wreck? Rich people acting like jerks? Trust fund kids portrayed in the worst light ever? Is this supposed to make me feel better about being poor? "Man, I may not have $25,000 from my trust fund to blow on alcohol and designer clothing, but at least I'm not an ass...Whew, thank you fate for making me a decent broke mofo...."

And, AND...the biggest question mark is in reference to Tinsely Mortimer herself. (Formally Tinsely Mercer from good ole Richmond, Va for those of you who follow local members of Society.)

Ok, so let me get this straight. She is sad because she is having marital problems with her hubby Topper, a member of NY Society. She moves from their Upper East Side place into a place in Midtown. *gasp* NO!. Am I supposed to feel bad for her? Her place in Midtown is bigger than my parent's humble rancher home.

Then we hear the sad tale of possible divorce and we are told it is because Topper's family doesn't care for Tinsely being in the society pages and on red carpets and you know, living a very public life. So we see her lying on her bed crying about the Big D.....ON A REALITY SHOW! If the in-laws and hubby weren't loving her public persona before, there will be complete and total melt-downs now that she's ON A REALITY TV SHOW. And she's crying because of the Big D, and she's doing it publicly ON A REALITY TV SHOW.

Are you following me here? If your family is wigging out because you're living a life in the limelight and you're about to lose your hubby over it, what would make you step out even further into the public eye by being on a reality TV show? And then be filmed crying over the Divorce?

Does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute...

Day 15,101: ANTM

2010-03-10T23:35:00.003-05:00

So much drama on ANTM. Someone please get these attitude-having women out of the house (talking to you Alasia, Angelea, and Krista). I can understand that after a while girls will get in their little squabbles, but they haven't even been in the house one episode yet and they're fighting. It's all so trifling that it's not even good/bad reality tv. Sheesh.

When I first looked at the profiles online I wasn't immediately impressed by any of the girls. Everyone looked too weird. After seeing episode one I realize it was just the photo stylists fault. The makeup jobs and outfits did absolutely nothing to showcase the girl's individual beauties.

After seeing them on the show, I think I'm mostly on Team Naduah. Team Gabrielle is a close second. We will see how it pans out as the show goes on.

Who are your favorites so far?

Day 15,090: One Amazing Thing by Divakaruni

2010-02-27T21:53:00.003-05:00

Every time I see a new release by Divakaruni at the library I snatch it up faster than an Elmo toy at Wal*Mart at Christmastime. (ouch!)

No exception this time when I saw One Amazing Thing by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni at my local library.

I'll have to be honest and say that the ending of the story fell flat to me. It's not a seamless ending, but do all endings have to be seamless? Perhaps it felt rushed to me. We are in the midst of a character's tale and then the book ends. Just like that.

That being said, once again Divarauni's stories suck me in fast and deep. I think I read this 220 pager over the course of 3 lunches at work. A bunch of people get trapped after an earthquake and try to pass the time by telling one amazing story about their lives. And the stories are just that, amazing. Even though I didn't care for the ending, I would still recommend this book as I really love her writing style.

Read/~~skim~~/~~skip~~

Day 15,088: Once Upon a Time - Addendum

2010-02-25T21:44:00.003-05:00

And chickens. I want egg laying chickens to lay ~~golden~~ organic eggs and fertilize the trees.

Nuts, Honey, and Eggs.

Yep. That'll do.

Update: Well a nut farm wasn't too hard to find. Bonus points for being just 20 minutes south of Portland. Now if someone could lend me a few million, I could be on my way to my Barbie Dream Home...Thanks!

Day 15,086: Top 5 Things I Can't Stop Eating...

2010-02-23T23:17:00.000-05:00

or Top 5 Recent Food Addictions:

1. Philadelphia Salmon Cream Cheese
2. Trader Joe's Chipotle Pepper Hummus
3. Whoppers Robin Eggs
4. Trader Joe's Garlic Naan
5. Amy's Organic Creamy Tomato Bisque

Day 15,085: The Original of Laura by Nabokov

2010-02-22T23:53:00.005-05:00

I went to the library last week and saw a copy of The Original of Laura by Vladimir Nabokov in the new releases section. It had totally slipped my mind that a posthumous work by one of my favorite authors was coming out.

The things I liked the most about this book were:

1. When I first picked it up, I wondered why it was so heavy and why the pages were printed on card stock. Then you start reading. The index cards that Nabokov wrote are copied here for you. Each and every one. In his own handwriting. On index card weight stock. Perforated. So that you can punch out all of his notes and rearrange the pieces any way you wish.

2. This means that his son did not assume the order he thought his Dad would have put them in. He arranged them and then gives you, the reader, the opportunity to do it yourself. I love this because it is a very honest interpretation with the realization that this is not a finished work, it was a work in progress and that is how it is presented to the reader.

3. All that being said...as a story you can see a framework is there but it just wasn't any where near completion. What made me enjoy it so much regardless? The fact that here is The Process. The painfully hard process of birthing a book. The intimacy of getting a small glimpse into the methodology behind some of the most beautifully written stories out there. It was almost like reading a diary of sorts. Almost something I shouldn't be reading. So while there is just the barest skeleton of a story there, I enjoyed this thoroughly. And I'm so glad the Nabokov family decided to release it in such a creative way.

4. And speaking of the family. Dmitri wrote a really fantastic introduction that also gave another intimate glimpse into the writer's family life. I enjoyed reading his introduction as much as reading the index cards.

If you're a fan of Nabokov, you will enjoy this book. If you're not a fan, I doubt seriously if you will like it.

Read/~~skim~~/~~skip~~

Day 15,076: Best Cartoon Ever!

2010-02-13T14:07:00.006-05:00

Calvin & Hobbes is my favorite cartoon of all life, time, and space. Thus, I was pleased as punch to see that the US Postal Service is coming out with stamps featuring the dynamic duo. Due in May. And yes, you will get mail from me for the rest of the year with C&H stamps on them. Check it out:

Just a boy and his tiger.

Day 15,060: So disappointed...

2010-01-28T20:05:00.005-05:00

The part of me that appreciated black comedy, the macabre, truly tasteless jokes, and SNL really wanted, expected even, the following thing to occur.

Time: Today.
Place: Bus to or from work.
A girl, namely me, is riding to (or from) work when she notices another woman/man/do-gooder/busy body staring at her from across the aisle with sympathy in her/his eyes. They get up and sit beside me.
Concerned citizen: Hi.
Me: Hi.
CC: I noticed that bruise you have under your eye...what happened?
Me: I had surgery to remove a bit of cancer.
CC: I see.
Me: Yeah, I get the stitches out on Friday, just in time for the weekend.
CC: You know, you don't have to deal with things like that.
Me: Well it is what it is. I was a sun worshiper back in the day...
CC: I know you're just trying to protect him. It is a him isn't it? Here, take this
She/He slips me a business card for a women's shelter into my palm.
CC: It's ok. He will never find you there. All you need to do is say the word. We can even go now if you want.
Me: But you don't understand, it's skin cancer. I had surgery.
CC: We can help you with your *air quotes* cancer *air quotes*...

And scene.

But no. Nobody wants to play in my mental playground with me. The only fun I got to have was telling a few busy bodies at work that I was injured in a roller derby match.

You should see the other broad...

Day 15,027: 2009 Year in Review - A Meme

2009-12-26T08:37:00.006-05:00

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Entered a few photography contests, rode an elephant, got up close and personal with primates.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I resolved to stick to my budget better. I didn’t do well with that AT ALL. I may just resolve not to make any resolutions and work on making some long term goals for myself instead. All adult-like and stuff.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes. My friend G had a son, my friend R had a son, and my friend M had a daughter. Lots of babies this year. I’m filled with breeder envy.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My best friend's mom who was like a second mother to me. A big loss not only to me, but to the town where she lived. She was an integral and valued member of the community that lots of people loved dearly.

5. What countries did you visit?
South Africa after a long (on purpose to visit friends) layover in England.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Drive and time management skills outside of the day job.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 16 was the funeral of one of my BFF’s mom. Such a sweet woman who still treated me like a daughter long after I stopped dating her son. (Her daughter is the BFF, not the son…)
July 3 was the first time my eyes saw South Africa. My first sights from the plane were of seasonal fires and Lapwings.
August 15 was the day after my vet finally believed me when I told him my dog had a tick-borne disease and the new tick disease medicine had kicked in. I thought I was going to lose another labbie too soon. Very happy to see him eat breakfast again.
December 9 was the day my doctor called to let me know biopsy results said I had basal cell carcinoma again and that the surgery would be a little more involved than they previously thought. Lucky for me I was wearing my Big Girl Panties and dealt with it very well at work.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Creating a portfolio of my photos. Seriously, it’s been on my to-do list for two years now.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Taking practice tests for the GRE and realizing my math skills are just terrible. I’m thinking I may need a tutor if I plan on passing.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had a mysterious illness in South Africa that caused me to sleep for 14 hours straight.
And Basal Bob came back.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A hand carved baboon from South Africa.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My friend R giving birth to her son. She did it all at home with a midwife and did the pushing part for like 9 hours with no meds. She is (still) the toughest broad I know.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Greedy companies getting bailout money and going on fancy retreats and/or giving giant bonuses to CEOs that do a lousy job.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Cost of living expenses that sky rocketed this year.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Scratching another continent off my travel list.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
“20 Dollar” by M.I.A. Old song, but it reminds me of Africa in its vibe for some reason.
And Lady Gaga's Just Dance was a pleasantly annoying earworm and a great response to The Economy woes.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? sadder
b) thinner or fatter? fatter (thanks early menopause)
c) richer or poorer? way poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Creative stuff. Relearning algebra and geometry for the GRE.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Facebooking and other general internet time wasting.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With my family. First at home, then at my Aunt's house.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Nope.

23. How many one-night stands?
None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Glee

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I never hate anyone, it's too time consuming.

26. What was the best book you read?
The Museum of Innocence by Orhan Pamuk

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
GitoGito Hustler (I’m on a JPop kick lately.)

28. What did you want and get?
My vacation to South Africa. My portfolio done. A Wii (Thanks Santa Claus!)

29. What did you want and not get?
The elusive Nobel Prize for Literature (ha ha), published, a cost of living raise from the day job, a working knowledge of algebra and geometry.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Hmm, none really stood out as much as last year’s selection (Slumdog Millionaire). I did enjoy My Life in Ruins, Julie & Julia, Whip It, and Fantastic Mr. Fox. Out of those I would probably pick Julie & Julia as the winner because Meryl Streep was amazing as Julia Child. If only they could edit a version that leaves out the Julie parts…ha ha.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 41. I had friends take me out to several dinners and movie outings. Very low key compared to last year’s milestone hazing.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More work on my personal stuff. Having a light bulb go off in my head causing me suddenly to understand math. Something other than a rejection letter for my humble writings. An honorable mention in the photo contests. Another vacation trip to a foreign land.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Whatever is clean.

34. What kept you sane?
One friend in particular has an amazing knack for always knowing exactly what to say and exactly when to say it. If she was a single dude, I would make her my husband.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Henry Cavill from The Tudors and Simon Baker from The Mentalist

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Can we just separate church and state and let gay folks get married if they want? I mean, really. Love is not a bad thing; let’s stop criminalizing it.

37. Who did you miss?
My friend C who is my childhood penpal. We’ve been corresponding for more than 20 years. The past few she’s been so busy with child rearing and her business I’ve hardly heard from her.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
It would have to be L. Although technically we met years ago, this is the first year we started getting to know each other better and hanging out. She is one smart, funny, and talented seamstress. (And she’s single, fellas…)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Sometimes you have to let people tell the little lies they find comfort in without calling them out on it.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
”There ain’t no rest for the wicked
Money don’t grow on trees
I got bills to pay
I got mouths to feed
Ain’t nothing in this world for free
I know I can’t slow down
I can’t hold back
Though you know I wish I could
Oh there ain’t no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good.”
~Cage the Elephant

I won't tag anyone. Just tag yourself if you want.

Day 15,019: On Reading...2009 in review

2009-12-18T23:21:00.004-05:00

I've been somewhat diligent about keeping my Goodreads list up to date. I really love it. I like that I can keep up with what friends are reading. I like that I can keep up with what I've been reading. I like the compare books feature you can do with your friends.

Since the holiday season is upon us, I know I won't have time to read any other books in their entirety until 2010. I'm now wondering how many books Goodreads has me reading in 2009. What books did I rank as my favorites this year?

Before logging in, I would guess I probably read about 50 books this year. The ones that come to mind as my favorites for 2009 would be: The Book Thief, The Museum of Innocence, Travel Writing, and 2666.

My least favorite books were: The Alchemist and Satan: His Psychotherapy and Cure by the Unfortunate Doctor Kessler.

Now let's see what Goodreads says.

Total books read in 2009: 38

Books I gave five stars to:
2666
The Book Thief
The Museum of Innocence

Books I gave one star to:
Brooklyn: A Novel
Wifey
Satan: His Psychotherapy and Cure by the Unfortunate Doctor Kessler
Shanghai Girls
The Alchemist

I was way off on the number of books I read this year. The books I liked the most obviously did make a lasting impressing on me. I forgot three of the books I disliked the most this year. I also find it interesting that Travel Writing had a lasting positive impression on me even though I didn't give it a five star rating. It's also interesting that I loathed Shanghai Girls, but read it because I enjoyed another of Lisa See's books Peony In Love so much. One trick pony, perhaps? Interesting. Very interesting.

If I had to pick my top book for 2009, The Museum of Innocence was the big winner. What was your favorite book this year? What was your least favorite?

Day 15,017: On Social Networking

2009-12-16T23:46:00.004-05:00

When I was first coerced to join Facebook I was super happy with it. I thought it was really cool that I could keep with with friends who didn't email that much. I happily found a few folks from my past who I had always wondered what happened to them. I'm getting know new friends (and bloggers) better through their pages and status updates. It seemed like a fantastic thing.

I can now post a link on FB and anyone who wants to follow it can. I can now post a funny picture and anyone who wants to look can. I can tell you in one sentence how my day is going or what I'm doing. I can Tweet my life in 140 character increments.

Then it started affecting the world outside of FB.

I rarely get emails from folks anymore. Bloggers have more or less stopped blogging in lieu of the Tweet and FB status update. What was supposed to bring us together, and I truly believe it did at first, I feel is now disconnecting us. Instead of blog length diatribes on books, politics, bad days, good things...I get a statement. A paragraph's main idea. No depth, just surface.

"I finished exams!"
"I got a job!"
"I'm making cheesecake!"
"I've got swineflu!"
"I'm drinking!"
"I'm traveling!"

No real conversation. Instead of living in the moment, we're busy documenting it. Our lives are Twittered and updated from phones and laptops while we're living them. We've all seen people walking together, yet both on their cell phones. We've joked about texting across the room. Sexting has replaced subtleness and the feather light touch in person. Where is the in-depth conversation? Where is the heart to heart? Where is the real connection? FB makes everything superficial and glazed over. Our lives have become real time documentaries.

I got an actual email from a friend last week. It was so odd to get an actual, long, hey how are you kind of email that I actually had to respond with "you emailed me!"

I don't know if this changes anything at all in the world, but I challenge you, Gentle Reader. I challenge you to connect to someone in more than 140 characters. You can do it any way you wish. Email a friend. Email your mom. Hell, call your mother. Do a blog post. Go have coffee with a friend. Just connect with the world and engage it in real conversation. Disconnect from the online world for 24 hours. Can you? There are no real rules. Just find out something more substantial than you can in a status update or text message. Find out something about one of your Friends that isn't on their Info page. I dare you. Go on now. Shoo.

Day 15,015: Extreme Pizza

2009-12-14T23:35:00.006-05:00

Yesterday my friend M and I were hanging out when the sudden need for sustenance hit us. After rummaging around in the stack of menus we came across one I got in the mail for Extreme Pizza. I have to be honest and say that I haven't ordered before because the name completely turned me off. I mean, come on, extreme is about as dated as gnarly or grody to the max.

Regardless we were both hungry and thought we would give it a whirl. We visit their website and after much clicking around the site finally ordered.

The website itself was easy to navigate, but I personally found the actually shopping part a wee bit confusing. Say you click one of their ~~specialty~~ extreme pizzas to order it. A bunch of check off boxes come up. We were both confused. Do we click what is supposed to already be on the pizza? Or is this for extra stuff you want to add? We didn't click anything and hoped for the best.

The estimated delivery time was 40 minutes. They got here pretty much right on time. And instead of your typical surly Pizza Hut delivery guy, this guy was actually super nice. Bonus points for being nice in the torrential downpour. (We tipped him well.)

We had a coupon for a free order of the Extremely Twisted Sticks ($3.85).

This was your typical pizza dough cut and topped with a blend of swiss and fontina cheeses. Add a bit of garlic and herbs, twist, and bake. They came with a side of tomato sauce. They were good, albeit a bit bready. I would have liked more cheese on the insides to balance out the wad of dough. The herbs gave it a nice flavor and the tomato sauce was nicely flavored with basil. Maybe they would be better with a after-baking drizzle of Parmesan and butter. I'm just not into eating hunks of pizza dough. I probably won't order these again.

M got the Endless Summer Calzone (small: $8.75).

This was a ample sized feast stuffed with mozzarella, rocotta, garlic, mushrooms, red onions and artichokes. It also came with a side of the tomato sauce. I tried a bite and there we go with the bread thing again. I never order calzones because of the bread thing. I'm not anti-bread or carb averse or anything...I just don't care for eating wads of it as a main course. He said it was a really good calzone. I really liked the filling. I'm sure they could do those toppings on a thin crust pizza and do well with it. Very tasty indeed. He said he would order it again.

I got the Railroad Grade pizza (indee: $6.95).

I love that these guys have individual sized pizzas. Nothing worse as a single person than having to order a medium sized pizza from a corporate chain and have to eat pizza for a week. This was 8" of goodness. One serving for an average guy, two servings for this girl.

The Railroad Grade is a thin crust pizza (yay, no wads of bread!) topped with Italian sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, red onions, that yummy basil-y tomato sauce, mozz and a bit of cheddar. This thing totally hit the spot. I have to say this is the best pizza I've had since returning to this sleepy town. (That being said, I do have to say that all I've had since returning is Pizza Hut and Papa John's.) I will definitely order pizza from these guys again. Next time, probably a heartburn free, meatless version of something. Ample toppings, good flavor, thin crust, yummy sauce...a winner in every category.

We also tried an order of the Boneless Sweet BBQ wings (6: $4.25).

We were way disappointed when we opened the box to see our half dozen wings cowering in the corner. A little dark around the edges like they were burned. Not very promising in the looks department.

Were we ever surprised. They lightly breaded these things before baking them and they were so good. The breading didn't overpower the wings and was slightly sweet from the bbq sauce. It came with a side of ranch that we barely used because they were really good in their own right. We were sorry we didn't order a bigger portion.

Overall we were happy with everything. I'm especially happy that I found a pizza joint that isn't Papa John's ($2 price increase in cost and skimpy on the toppings over the past year) or Pizza Hut (grease, anyone?) that's not too badly priced, delivers, and has smaller pizzas for the single ladies out there. I'll definitely bookmark their website.

Extreme Pizza
941 W Broad St
Richmond, VA
804-359-2030
Order online: Here

Day 15,014: The Museum of Innocence by Orhan Pamuk

2009-12-13T23:16:00.004-05:00

Warning: Possible spoilers

"Let everyone know, I've lived a very happy life."

This is how this 532 page book ends. It's a sad book. A book of yearning and desire and love. Almost stalkerish love, but not really. It's tragic. It's engrossing. It sucked me in and I loved every minute of it.

Kemal loves Fusun but is engaged to another. It takes place in Istanbul so there is a bunch of cultural anthropology stuff on topics like honor and shame. Premarital sex and the virgin bride as a trophy. The role of men and women in society. Djinns and lots of raki drinking. Secret lovers and the wives that know. New money in a changing society.

I'm not sure what sucked me in more. Istanbul culture? The things I had to look up to understand like djinns? Or the idea of a man loving a woman so much that he basically gives up everything, including his position in society, his friends, and years of his life, just to be around the woman he loves? I think that I would love to have a guy that loved me enough to do all that, but then again I really like my autonomy and that would be just too much pressure...lol. I wonder if there really was a Museum of Innocence somewhere could I bear to look at all of Fusun's things and the memories Kemal has of them?

This is one of The best books I've read all year.

read/~~skim~~/~~skip~~

Day 15,012: I won't be Debbie Downer today

2009-12-11T23:29:00.005-05:00

When life hands me lemons, I like to find something that makes me laugh to cheer me up. It may be a funny movie, the company of a hilarious friend, or finding funny pictures on the net. Here are a few old underwear advertisements that make me giggle from the Vintage Skivvies website. I love manly camaraderie, don't you? These really appeal to my inner Hag. Enjoy!

Day 15,007: Comfort

2009-12-06T17:34:00.004-05:00

After checking out Cherry Bomb RVA's Holiday Rock 'n' Shop, a group of girls stood outside of Gallery 5 wondering where we could score some brunch. Mimosas and Poinsettias (champagne & cranberry juice) on empty bellies were making us a bit woozy.

We decided to walk two blocks to Broad Street to check out Comfort's brunch menu. Even though we were talking brunch there was a consensus regarding mac & cheese. Who had it and where could we get it. We walked in the door and grabbed a menu, which was promptly grabbed back from us, to check out the offerings. Next thing you know the five of us were seated.

The place is really nice looking with hardwood floors and super high ceilings with the ubiquitous Richmond painted tin ceiling tiles. The walls were yellow with a really nicely done aging effect with a darker yellow. In the front window was one small table with a lower ceiling of painted wood with an old school metal ceiling fan. There were large pieces of art on the wall. I'm not sure if it was for sale or not, but if so I call dibs on the fridge interior painting. I couldn't stop looking at it.

There was also a fully stocked bar to the left as you walk in. One of the chalkboards advertised hot spiced cider which we all ordered. We told the waitress we wanted separate checks to which she moaned and sighed about. At the bottom of their menus it says to tell the waitress from the get go if you want separate checks so we were miffed at her attitude.

She came back to tell us they were out of cider and offered us other alcohol alternatives like bloody marys and mimosas which we politely declined. We got a round of water and when she came back with them she said "here's your fun water". Attitude.

Anyway, on to the food. The brunch menu is pretty extensive. Everything from your french toasts, to your build-your-own omelettes, to mac & cheese with country ham. Four of the five of us ordered the mac & cheese. It came with a choice of a variety of sides. Three of us chose the sweet potato hash. Another had the squash casserole. Our other dining partner had shrimp & grits with a side of braised green beans.

It took us a little while to get our food, but when it arrived we were presented with huge bowls of mac & cheese. Huge. They had been baked in the bowls and were crispy on top and milky cheesy gooey at the heart of the bowl. Mixed in where tiny bites of country ham. Delicious. The sides were about 3/4 of a cup served in an oval shaped dish. Just enough. The sweet potato was cubed and mixed with white potatoes with a little onion (maybe) and something else, possibly pimento or a little red pepper. Excellent. Bites were shared of the squash casserole which was squash and zucchini with melted cheese. Everything was delicious. K said her dish was good as well, tasting a slight bbq flavor in the shrimp. She commented the braised green beans were good as well.

The prices were pretty good for the food we got. It was $10 for the huge bowl of mac & cheese with the one side. Good value, good atmosphere. Oh, and how cute are drinks served in mason jars? Very. The only downside was our cranky waitress and menu-snatching hostess.

We all talked of our inevitable naps after the carb overload. By the end of the meal I could have curled up with an afghan in my chair and taken a nap. Comfort is definitely the right name for this place.

Comfort
200 W Broad St
Richmond, VA 23230
804.780.0004
Lunch 11:30 - 2:30 M-F
Dinner 5:30 - 10:30 M-Th
5:30 - 11:00 F-Sa

Day 15,004: The Anthologist by Nicholson Baker

2009-12-03T23:38:00.004-05:00

This book is a plum.

The main character and narrator Paul Chowder writes: "It's a plum, not a poem. That's what I call a poem that doesn't rhyme - it's a plum. We who write and publish our nonrhyming plums aren't poets, we're plummets. Or plummers. And some plums can be very good - better than anything else you might happen to read ever, anywhere."

You read that about 1/3 of the way through and you smile because you know this story is just that, a plum. There is lovely free verse throughout this book. And now I'm going to say something completely pretentious. (If I say I realize it, does that make it any better? Do I get points back for knowing how I sound?)

I would have dug this book more if it were done by a small press and not Simon & Schuster.

If it were a small press, like say Starcherone Books, I would have been all ooo, how clever, the whole thing is a love child between free verse and navel gazing and free association. Man, I love the creative stuff coming from the independent presses. Blah blah blah, please pass me another Pabst and watch the newly inked sleeve because apparently I'm a pretentious hipster who is telling you about some underground obscure band that no one has heard about except me whilst smoking my hand rolled American Spirit.

Since it comes from a big old press all I kept thinking is how something artistic feels like a gimmick. Something to sell me like Dylan for Cadillac. Something that raises my hackles in a awareness that something is just off. If it were a small press, I would envision Baker as a troubled soul spending years writing this while tossing back drinks and smoking cigarettes bleeding over an old underwood and sleeping on a mattress in the fetal position in a cabin in Maine somewhere. A writerly cliche if you will. Because it's a huge monster press I can't help but think he spit this out over the course of a few hours before the Giants game came on, heavily edited by big boys and packaged nicely in a cover with a big ass plum on the front so you can have your ah-ha moment when the plum paragraph arrives.

Does this make me an ass? Probably.

All that being said, there are some paragraphs in there that are really beautiful and do read like poetry:

"It was about midnight and misty after another brief rain. I wanted to sit in the white plastic chair by the driveway and admire the overboiled potato of the moon, but I knew that the basin of the chair would be filled with water."

Overboiled potato moon. Nice, eh?

~~read~~/skim/~~skip~~

Day 15,001: Black Bean Mango (In jest of my fave cooking blogs)

2009-11-30T19:02:00.009-05:00

After a long day at work I don’t have time to make something fancy in my kitchen. I need something quick and easy. Black Bean Mango is my favorite fall back recipe. No 30 minute meals here; this one is easily from fridge to dinner table in 8 minutes.

Ingredients
1 Kashi Black Bean Mango entrée
Salt & pepper to taste

Directions based on a 1,000 watt microwave.

1. Remove entrée from carton. Pull up one corner of the film to vent.

2. Microwave on high for 2 minutes.

3. Pull back film, stir, and replace film.

4. Microwave for an additional 2 ½ minutes or until hot.

5. Let stand 2 minutes in microwave before serving.

6. Plate and serve. I like to serve this dish with either a glass of wine or a glass of bourbon, depending on how bad my day was. In this instance I polished off a gift bottle of 2002 Columbia Crest Merlot that was in my fridge. Mmmm, quick, healthy and easy.

Bon Appetit!

Day 14,999: Oh hells no! (A dramedy in my head.)

2009-11-28T14:08:00.006-05:00

Anyone read about Tiger Wood's accident this morning? Anyone actually believe his wife was trying to rescue him with the golf club? I think it was more like this:

Scene: Florida mansion that makes the houses on Cribs look like the projects.
Elin and Tiger are in the entertainment room watching some movie that hasn't been released for the masses yet, eating lo-carb, fat free, gross as hell popcorn.

Tiger's phone buzzes to alert him of an incoming text.

Elin: "Who's that?"
Tiger checks the phone, smiles knowingly and says "nobody."
Elin: "Nobody? Nobody! It's that bitch you went to Australia with, isn't it?"
Tiger: "I didn't go to Australia with anyone, I was golfing, you know this."
Elin: "You really expect me to believe this?"
She jumps up and runs into the other room.
Tiger: "You're just letting the media feed you lies. Don't believe the hype, babe. Can you bring me some salt-free salt topping for the popcorn?"
He quickly texts Rachel back telling her he can't talk now cuz the ball n chain is in the room.
Elin storms back in holding a golf shirt: "What the fuck is this then?" She holds up the shirt with the cliched lipstick on the collar.

More yelling back and forth until he gets fed up with her (as guys are wont to do when they're busted) and leaves. He hops in his car and gets ready to speed out the drive way. Elin follows behind and grabs one of his fancy golf clubs. You know, he golfs, so they have clubs lying around the house like dust bunnies. Tiger looks in the rear view mirror to see her running towards the SUV like a Wal*Mart customer on Black Friday. He's all like "Oh hells no, not my Honma custom made fancy pants driver!"

Elin yells "You fucking cheating bastard!" And creams the back window with the driver.

Tiger stares shocked at the broken back window and the bent club and distractedly drives into the fire hydrant and his neighbor's tree. He's totally pissed at her now and gets out his car to smack a bitch, and then falls down because he's all hurt and stuff.

And scene.

(Disclaimer: This is a joke meant for entertainment purposes only. The author has never met the Woods' family nor is all up in their business like that so she really has no clue, as usual, what she's talking about.)

Day 14,998: Haul Out the Holly

2009-11-27T23:05:00.004-05:00

How to deck the halls at casa ATG in 10 easy steps:

1. Go to hall closet.
2. Open door.
3. Reach into top of closet and pull out Target bag.
4. Close door.
5. Walk to end table.
6. Move stack of books.
7. Take out mini holiday tree from bag. (A crafty gift from an x-coworker)
8. Set on end table.
9. Plug in.
10. Yell at cat who is immediately trying to futz with it. OMG, why can't you leave stuff alone? You are such...can't you just sit on the couch and chill out like a normal cat? What is wrong with you? Where is that squirt bottle? Don't ruin this for me!

Day 14,997: In the Spirit of Large Meals...

2009-11-26T22:02:00.001-05:00

Breakfast at McLean's Restaurant, a Richmond institution and a great little diner.
Happy Turkey Coma!

Day 14,996: Noodles & Company

2009-11-25T23:27:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I was running around doing errands after work when a sudden pang of hunger hit me. I looked around and saw that a new restaurant had opened in the Willow Lawn Shopping Area: Noodles & Company.

Sure why not? I said as I swerved over two lanes of traffic to make the turnoff. NYC driving flashback there. No casualties.

The interior is designed just like any other fast food joint posing as NOT a fast food joint...minimalist with the IKEA design catalog as a guide. Clean lines, birch wood, cute brushed silver fixtures. The usual. It's about time some corporate interior designer breaks away from the pack to start the new trend in design, don't you think?

Anyhoo, that makes it sound like I'm ragging on them when I'm really not. There is a reason everyone uses that kind of design scheme, it's eye pleasing with its clean lines and it makes you feel as though you're not in a Mickey D's.

The menu gives you three genres of pasta to choose from: Asian, Mediterranean, and American. I think it's funny that the Asian and Med ones seem pretty fancy and then you get to the American column and your options are like spaghetti & meatballs or mac & cheese. Nice. We're so bland with our comfort food lovin' selves. Mmmm, mac & cheese.

I order the Japanese Pan Noodles: caramelized udon noodles in a sweet soy sauce with broccoli, carrots, and shiitake mushrooms. Sprouts, black sesame and cilantro garnish. You can then have them add in a protein and I chose the tofu.

I wish they had more veggies in there (you can add more for 75 cents), but it was a good sized, satisfying portion of noodles. I think I ended up with just one cilantro leaf as well. I would have liked a tad bit more to help balance the heavy flavor of the soy noodles. Perhaps they would consider adding another citrus note, like maybe a small wedge of lime to squeeze over it?

Overall I really enjoyed I will definitely be back to try the other menu options, including the mac & cheese.

Noodles & Company
1601 Willow Lawn & Broad
Willow Lawn Shopping Center
804-288-9777

Day 14,995: A Tiger’s Heart by Aisling Juanjuan Shen

2009-11-24T23:42:00.006-05:00

A Tiger’s Heart: The Story of a Modern Chinese Woman is a memoir written by Aisling JuanJaun Shen that tells the story of her beginnings in a small poor township in China to her successful immigration to the U.S. I’m usually not into reading memoirs but I am interested in stories coming out of Asia. You would really enjoy this book if you a) like memoirs, b) like rags to riches stories, and c) are interested in cultural anthropology.

The publisher sums up the book nicely:

A Tiger's Heart chronicles Aisling's rise from poverty in the rice fields of rural China to a successful career in business in the early days of the country's economic boom, illustrating the massive economic and social changes that have taken place in China over the past several decades. Her story is emblematic of a new generation of Chinese women who are leaving the rice paddies and government jobs in order to enter the free market and determine the course of their own lives.

I think the part I was most surprised at was the amount of sex that was in the book. Not like they were super descriptive soft core porn scenes or anything. Just that Aisling had a lot of casual encounters and she was not afraid to own those experiences.

Along with sex this book touched on the cultural penalties of pre-marital sex for women. Being called ‘broken shoes’, which is slang for prostitute, whether it was by consent or by rape. Abortions, both with and without anesthesia. Sexual harassment in the workplace. Children produced by rape. This book had lots of heavy topics in it. But the author deals with them as they come up and well enough not to have them impede her progress towards her goal. Her goal being to escape poverty and live a decent life.

Aisling survived and lived to tell the tale. This makes her one tough broad and the book, one decent memoir.

~~read~~/skim/~~skip~~

Day 14,994: Meet Me in St Louis, Louie

2009-11-23T23:57:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was another oddly warm November day here. My friend S called me because she wanted me to walk with her around Maymont Park. Not in a casual wandering around kind of way, but in a throw on the sweats because we’re going to do two laps while briskly walking. It does include three hills that leave one gasping for air and lots of strategic weaving around slow moving families with obese kids with giant ice cream cones.

I hadn’t eaten yet so I thought we should go eat first. And drink. I really wanted a mimosa or bellini. We eventually decided on meeting at Panera after I walked my dog. It’s within walking distance from my house so I was going to meet her there when I was done with his walk.

After I walk the dog, I call S to tell her I’m on my way to Panera and head back outside to walk to the eatery. I bump into the old lady that lives upstairs who immediately launches into a tirade regarding the tag on the hallway wall. She tells me about the police report she’s going to file when they arrive and how they’re planning on taking pictures of the tag to go with the report. I told her what I knew about it happening some time between 7 and 10pm on Saturday night to help with the report. Then she tells me how she’s planning to call the management company to come paint over it. I don’t want to be rude, but I do have a little ways to walk to meet S for breakfast at the Panera. But what can you do? I certainly can’t tell my elderly neighbor to shut up because there is some alcohol waiting for me in the near future.

She finally finishes and I realize I have no idea how long we have been talking. So I speed walk five blocks to the Panera. Only there is a small problem. It’s not a Panera but a Baker’s Crust. It hits me that I’ve been saying Panera all morning long to S while I was meaning Baker’s Crust. I go in and ask the hostess if she’s there and she says no. I’m thinking “oh sh**” where is she? Where the heck is a Panera around here? Wait, does Panera even serve alcohol? I check my pocket to confirm that yes; I have NOT brought my cell phone. Yeah, whatever. I do leave it at home ~~sometimes~~ a lot. The only thing is that I have no idea what S’s phone number is. This is the trouble with a woman’s dependence on technology, you know. You don’t even bother to remember someone’s phone number like back in the day because technology remembers it for you. I’m standing outside for a few and I have no idea how long I was talking to my elderly neighbor, or where a Panera is, or where S is.

Finally I decide I’m going to have to bite the bullet and speed walk five blocks home to get my cell phone. As I walk in my door huffing and puffing, my cell rings. It’s S.

“Where are you?” I ask.

“Baker’s Crust” she replies.

“I’ll be right there!”

See. Now that is a good friend. You can say the wrong stuff in a conversation more than ten times and yet she knows exactly what you’re talking about and knows exactly where to go. This is going to be especially helpful in future years the more senile we both become. Good friend, good friend indeed.

And the mimosas were tasty too.

Day 14,989: Between the Assassinations by Aravind Adiga

2009-11-18T23:37:00.003-05:00

I really enjoyed The White Tiger, so when I saw Between the Assassinations on the new arrivals shelf at the library I snatched it up. Yeah, my inner Wal*mart black Friday holiday shopper totally comes out at the library. Whatever. Watch out and hand over that new, never been read book and no one gets trampled.

This book takes place in a town called Kittur during the time period between the assassinations of Indira Gandhi and her son Rajiv. I totally didn’t realize this until the very end when Adiga ends the book with a time table of events. Basically that means I read the book thinking that at any moment someone was going to assassinate someone. I was looking for motives in each of the characters, most of which probably could have totally killed someone.

Even though I was reading it from that angle the book still sucked me in. I love reading a book that has my attention to the point my 30 minute commute downtown feels like 5 minutes. Adiga has a great knack for drawing you into the lives of his characters and watching as their lives unfold. He is great at giving you insight into class struggle and the anger that it brings to the surface of those affected. He is definitely someone I will keep reading.

read/~~skim~~/~~skip~~

Day 14,988: Pho 79 – It’s Pho King Good!

2009-11-17T23:58:00.005-05:00

On Sunday when the X arrived I decided to take him to one of my favorite spots in Richmond for lunch, Pho 79.

Located in Richmond’s north side the restaurant is pretty non-descript blue building. Walk in and there are about 9 tables to your left. A large screen tv on the counter and a few fish tanks with some ginormous fish. This time I was surprised to see a white guy sitting at one of the tables eating. Typically I’m the only white chick in there amongst the Vietnamese clientèle.

I ordered the Pho Ga: noodle soup with chicken. Normally I get the one that has shrimp and squid in it, but I didn't see it listed on the day's specials. I believe he got the Pho Tai Nam: noodle soup with round steak and flank. One good thing about takeout here is they give you a container of the soup base and then another container with your meats. No soggy noodles when you get home. When we got back to my place we assembled the bowls of soup. Soup base, noodles, fresh basil leaves, sprouts, meat, green onions and a squeeze of lime on top. Then we added a bit of sriracha for a little kick.

Chopsticks and spoons handed out and we were ready to start slurping noodles. I was in heaven. I have never had a bad bowl of soup at Pho 79. My X greedily slurped his noodles and declared it the best pho he had in a long time. Soon we were both sniffling as our sinuses cleared up from the spicy brew.

Best part? There was enough for us to have seconds for lunch the next day. Two days of outstanding noodle soup. Life is good, pho-king good.

Pho 79
6909 Staples Mill Rd
Mon – Thurs 9am – 9pm
Fri – Sat 9am – 10pm
Sun 9am – 8pm
Free Wi-fi available

Day 14,982: Carytown Cupcakes

2009-11-11T23:52:00.003-05:00

Nestled next to the Tokyo Market in Carytown lies a little pink shop by the name Carytown Cupcakes. I thought it would be a great place for my friend and me to pick up dessert.

This is the part where I tell you about my love of the Buttercup Bakeshop in NYC. After I was fortunate enough to have coworkers buy me a birthday cake from there years ago, I was converted and baptized at the altar of amazingly good cupcakes. From there it was a cupcake frenzy having me shop everywhere from Magnolia Bakery to Crumbs. Buttercup was my favorite then, and now.

My friend and I brave busy Carytown to go check the place out. We walk in the pink painted store and head right for the display case. To your left are a few chairs with tiny tables. It’s a clean shop that appears larger than it really is thanks to sparse décor and the high ceilings. There was one gentleman in the corner pecking away on a laptop. The lady behind the counter seemed a bit annoyed when we started asking about her affiliation with Magnolia as loosely implied by their website (there is none, she is just a fan). We left that touchy subject alone and asked about the cakes. We ended up getting six so we could do a proper taste test. Our first impression was how cute they were. Cute meaning tiny. Itty bitty cupcakes. Granted we do live in an age where the ginormous breakfast muffins sold at local coffee shops are the standard, but these were two to three biter cupcakes at best. We thought that it was ok to be a small cupcake as long as you were an amazing cupcake.

We ordered a vanilla (with buttercream icing), carrot (with raisins, pecans and a cream cheese icing), red velvet (with cream cheese icing), german chocolate (with caramel, coconut, and pecan icing), mocha (with coffee flavored icing) and a hoo-yah (dark chocolate and peanut butter with peanut butter icing).

The six cupcakes go into a huge white pastry box emblazoned with a pink sticker and we check out. $16.00 for six cupcakes. That’s an entire 50 cents off the $2.75 per cupcake rate. Wait, ATG, did you say $2.75? Why yes, Gentle Reader, I did. Isn’t that more than…

Why yes it is. Way up in the big city where everything is bigger and overpriced, Buttercup Bake Shop charges $2.25 for a cupcake…and those are The Best Cupcakes on The Planet. Magnolia Bakery, the grandmother of cupcake shops, charges $2.50 for regulars and $3.00 for your fancy breeds. Both shops’ cakes are larger than Carytown Cupcakes.

Now at this point we are optimistically thinking that these must be The New Best Cupcakes on the Planet in order to charge so much for something so small in a city much smaller than, well, you know.

We open the box to find our six wee cupcakes held in place with a cardboard cutout with holes. I’m sure this is meant to keep the cakes from sliding around, but all it seemed to do was emphasize how small they were. The cardboard looks as though the cupcakes should nestle in the cutout like an egg in an egg cup, but they just sat on the bottom of the box with the cardboard around the tiny crown of the cupcake.

Nonetheless we're excited and we’re cutting up samples and putting them on plates for everyone to get a bite and rank our favorites. We taste and, well, they are not the best cupcakes on the planet. They were just your average cupcake. Moist, not too sweet, something you could probably whip up in your own kitchen. The only one that tasted bad was the Hoo-ha, I mean the Hoo-yah (we started calling it a hoo-ha after none of us could finish it). I’m a peanut butter chocolate combo lover and even I found these terrible. Such an odd thing to say about a cupcake, because even average dessert is still dessert.

The favorite among all participants was the red velvet. The decoration was lovely with iridescent sprinkles in the cream cheese icing with a wee sprinkle of red velvet cake on top. (The cake itself was just a standard red velvet cake.) The cream cheese icing was the best thing out of the lot, making appearances on the red velvet cake and the carrot cake.

Would we purchase them again? The consensus was no. $2.75 is just way too expensive for a tiny, average cupcake. With the time it took to find parking in Carytown and then hoof it to the shop and back home we could have been holed up in our kitchen making a dozen cupcakes for a lot less than $29.00.

Carytown Cupcakes
2820-C W Cary Street
(804) 355-CAKE
Hours 11am to 6pm Tues – Fri
11am – 4pm Sat
or until cupcakes are sold out

Day 14,977: The Day I Wait

2009-11-06T19:50:00.004-05:00

I was waiting around in an office and picked up a copy of O Magazine that was on the table beside me. When I flipped through there was a little quiz so I took it. I can't help myself. I love doing little dinky quizzes in magazines.

This one was called "Who Am I Meant to Be?" by Anne Dranitsaris, PhD. "Based on personality science, I have identified seven 'striving styles' modes of thought and behavior that direct us to seek satisfaction in different ways." Meh! Who cares? Bring on the questions! I take the quiz and I tie in 3 different styles.

Of course I do.

First I'll tell you what styles I'm NOT:
1. Striving to help. (You're not a nurturer.)
2. Striving to be recognized. (You're not an achiever.)
6. Striving to be secure. (You're not a stabilizer.)
7. Striving to be in control. (You're not a leader.)

Now check out what this quiz says I am striving to do:
3. Striving to be creative. (You are an artist.)
4. Striving to be spontaneous. (You are an adventurer.)
5. Striving to be knowledgeable. (You are an intellectual.)

Interesting. Does that stuff sound like me? And not like me?

You can take the quiz on Oprah's website. Valid quiz, or Forer effect?